In the Mailbox

AMAZING GRACE

2009-02-20T13:48:00.000-08:00

All praise to Bizzaro, who found this gem. I dedicate this to Mom.

McCAIN GOT RICK ROLLED

2008-12-15T22:23:00.001-08:00

Funny... I didn't see this happen when I watched his acceptance speech.

BUSINESS ABOUNDS

2008-10-29T23:41:00.000-07:00

Wow. Two months. That writing gig I've talked about (see below) has kept me pretty busy.

My name's all over it, so I don't mind telling you what it is now. I am a content provider for Ellusionist, an Internet-based magic training company. I maintain and contribute to the company's blog and write about the products. They make some of the best custom playing cards on the market, so those of you who know me can imagine how much I've been geeking out.

In other news, Duncan, official stepson of the Mailbox, rocks. He made the all-A honor roll and is his classroom's citizen of the month. I am so proud of him I could burst.

And congratulations to my phine phriends Red Pen Inc. and Liphe of Jason, who are phreaking out over the Phillies winning the series in phive. Woot! Now help the Mailbox out and root for the Saints in phootball. WHODAT?!

NEW WRITING GIG! WOOT!

2008-08-19T19:49:00.001-07:00

I wish I could say more. I'll be able to in the future. I landed a pretty sweet writing gig; if I pass a certain audition process, then I'll have a nifty new thing for you to check out. The gig is keeping me pretty busy, so the fiction writing will have to go to the side for a bit.

Man, I wish I could tell y'all what it is.

Oh, since Randy Turner regularly trolls this blog looking for rumors, innuendo and other filth he can spout about The Joplin Globe: I did not quit my job, and my boss knows about this side project. You can quote me, Turner. Even though you don't do quotes.

ANYWAY... Something interesting regarding writing, however: T. Rob, official friend and wedding photographer of the Mailbox, got to speak with Michael Stackpole, sci-fi writer of bajillions of books. Stackpole's advice at a recent seminar: Don't waste time with short fiction anymore, because people are going to the 'Net to read it, not books.
I wonder if magazines count in that. It also makes me wonder what I should do with all these short stories I've written.

While I'm talking about T. Rob, props to him. He said he saw the cover of a Star Wars RPG sourcebook, in which he contributed (I want to say he wrote the thing, but I could be mistaken). Awesome. Dude knows his banthas from his rynoks.

I CAN BECAUSE I SAY?

2008-08-01T12:46:00.001-07:00

I've been rereading "The Dilbert Future" this morning, revisiting one of the most interesting chapters in the book. Scott Adams, creator of the Dilbert comic strip, has enjoyed some phenomenal success as a cartoonist. One of the secrets to his success, as he explains in "The Dilbert Future" is the technique of affirmations. Using the technique, he was able to make a killing in the stock market, pass the GMAT and earn an MBA, become a successful syndicated cartoonist, hold the Nos. 1 and 2 spot on the New York Times bestseller list and even dodge cancer.

The technique that Adams said he followed is basically this: Every day he would write, "I, SCOTT ADAMS, WILL GET / DO / ACCOMPLISH WHATEVER" 15 times. According to his instructions in "The Dilbert Future," he would stop if he didn't observe any movement toward the goal for six months. He also said you don't need any faith in the affirmations in order for them to work.

In other words, he tricked himself. Against all the odds and evidence that suggested the contrary, he wrote down goals that flew in the face of sanity. And they came to be.

Affirmations work (in theory) because they bend your brain into accepting an impossibility. The repetition of the idea creates a seed in the subconscious mind, which germinates and, like a weed, grows over other parts of your brain that might hold you back from a goal.

A skeptical, not-very-religious person like me has a lot of problems with affirmations, because it feels like I'm tricking myself. If I write, "I, Joe Hadsall, will write a first novel that will make the New York Times bestseller list," it feels like I'm taking the time to actively delude myself and engage a childish fantasy. I go through the same process when I practice magic. As I practiced the classic pass, I thought that there was no way I would ever master it. I'd think things like, "That break is obvious. There's no way I can hide that card flashing. That noise gives everything away." Yet I still practiced it, thinking all those things I saw would get better. But now, my pass is pretty good. Even though I still see all those things I see in practice, I'm able to use them pretty effectively.

It can't really be that easy, can it? It's really hard for me to believe they can work, but I want them to work. So here goes:

I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.
I, Joe Hadsall, will have three short stories published in major fiction magazines.

Wow, 18 times. I overachieved, without copy-pasting. This is fairly ironic, considering the post below.

MAILBOX DESTINED FOR FIERY ABYSS

2008-07-29T22:51:00.001-07:00

Just in case y'all didn't know, I'm going to hell. So said a candidate for U.S. Senate in Oklahoma.

I interviewed Dennis Lopez, R-Thackerville, Okla., about his quest for a seat on the U.S. Senate. His run ended Tuesday night, when he came in fourth place among Republicans, with about 2.75 percent of the vote. I interviewed him a few weeks ago for our election coverage. When I asked him on what issues he would be running, he asked if I was a Christian.

"Excuse me?" I said.

"Are you a Christian?" he said. "Because if you're a Christian, you'd know what those issues are."

The interview did not go well. He continually asked about my soul, and whether I was saved. I told him the status of my soul didn't matter, because the voters of Oklahoma weren't interested in that. He said he was. I told him about my mom, who was a pastor with the United Methodist Church, and who has already done considerable work helping me understand God. He suggested that she might be mistaken on some things.

Eventually, those "Christian issues" came out. His intelligent, well-spoken thoughts about energy (we need to diversify, can't rely on just oil, we need to develop alternative energy sources, etc.) were drowned out by platforms of declaring homosexuality illegal, getting evolution out of classrooms and banning abortions. The conversation ended with him warning me that unless I was saved, I was destined for the fiery pits.

"At least the music is good down there," I said.

"That's a lie," he said.

I give Lopez a lot of credit. You'd think that a guy running for one of the highest offices in the land against an established incumbent would be a political machine. Instead, he spent a majority of the interview worried about whether I was going to heaven. In other words, he stayed true to his beliefs, and did what he thought he should, not what was the best for him. He didn't tell me to "go to hell," like he was ticked off. He didn't talk to me like I was an inarticulate heathen, or a college student walking between classes who has stopped to listen to a street preacher. He was genuinely worried about me. He sounded like he was going to pray for me.

Religiously, I'm a cross between an agnostic and a Methodist -- and what good Methodist doesn't have a strong agnostic side? I have felt the emotional rush from being "saved." I'm not so big on organized religions, however. I believe that no person on Earth can come between one and God. But my biggest struggle is with believing -- just believing. I've always been a skeptic at heart. My views on things change regularly, especially when presented with new information. I'm a trust-yet-verify kind of guy. A part of me wishes I could just believe without getting facts and truth. But I can't. That's not the way God made me, I would argue.

It's very easy of me to be jaded and skeptical about the actions of a loud minority of Christians -- especially when it comes to efforts of trying to control thought (i.e. the theory of intelligent design). It would be easy for me to dismiss Lopez as a wacko, religious Bible-thumper. But I can't believe that. Though I found his anti-homosexual, on-the-verge-of-fascism views repugnant, I can't shake how he sounded genuinely concerned about me and what would happen to my soul. Not everyone is willing to do what he did.

FINALLY! PICTURES!

2008-07-29T20:43:00.000-07:00

Sweet mercy! Or, as Miley Cyrus would say, sweet niblets! Whatever those are. ANYWAY... we have wedding pictures! TLP, official wife of the Mailbox, and the Mailbox invite you to check them out at our wedding blog: Bwessed Awangements. Yeah, I'm pretty good-lookin'. And she's gorgeous.

NEW COHORTS

2008-07-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

Additions to the Cohorts are:

~ After being in the Joplin media for more than two years, I have learned that everyone has a story about this guy, and everyone has a story about one of the guys behind Idiocracy Now!, namely John Hacker. About those stories you hear: They are all accurate, and hilarious. For those who don't know, the face on Hacker's blog belongs to MSSU faculty advisor T.R. Hanrahan (fan of AN Ohio State University), who slaughters, maims and rips Hacker new ones on his blog rather regularly, whenever T.R. feels like writing something. Hacker takes his role as whipping boy gracefully, so it's good to see some retribution. Get 'em, Hacker!

~ Photoshop Disasters has become a guilty pleasure. I found the link from the Grammarphile, chief typist of Red Pen, Inc. and official friend of the Mailbox, to whom I used to send all kinds of typos -- so much so that she thought southwest Missouri was the bad grammar capital of the world. (Sorry, G-phile, I's been lazy lately.) ANYWAY... the PsD site should be required viewing for any teenaged girl who believes that fashion magazines present an iota of reality.

~ Joplin Daily Photo (which has nothing to do with the defunct publication) provides a daily glimpse at our beloved JoMo. At least it does when it is regularly updated. But one of the team members behind it is Nate, official friend of the Mailbox. He recommended two of the outstanding teens serving on the Globe's Youth Editorial Board.

~ One of the things I miss about working in the Springfield Metro is the large amount of blogs kept by people in the media -- especially our TV personalities. Granted, because of Joplin's market size, Joplin is a great place to start a career in TV, which means there's a fair amount of movement. But there are plenty of TV reporters I've met who are smart, savvy and oughtta be writing on the Web. I'm lookin' at you, Iris Hermasillo and Gretchen Bolander. C'mon -- if Brad Douglas is brave enough to maintain this awesome Spider Man site, then you have no excuse.

~ While I'm thinking about local TV stations, props to KODE's Good Morning Four States, which has the cojones to publish its bloopers on its site. Funny stuff.

~ Down in Vibes, I'm adding Hydrovibe, a band that is growing on me quickly. The first I heard of them was some snarky newsroom comments about how the band with a song on the Saw 3 soundtrack was coming to Joplin. ("You mean THAT BAND? I listen to the Saw 3 soundtrack ALL THE TIME!" Those kinda snarky comments.) Because they were a rock band, I volunteered to interview them. And I'm glad I did. Here's the story from Friday's Globe.

Hydrovibe was already signed to a big label, but decided to do things their own way and go the indie route. But the indie scene is, for the most part, a mishmash of dissonant, scrambled, flighty artists who obviously are not destined for the big-time, yet the fans think that big-time equals selling out, so their bad music is placed on a pedestal. Not the case with Hydrovibe: I'm hooked on its five-song EP, "Killer Inside."

It's a band with solid bass and drums, intricate guitar work on top of solid power chords, surprising chord progressions and a surprisingly abrasive yet addictive lead voice. Heather St. Marie sounds like she could scream death metal for hours and not need lemon and horehound tea afterward. She reminds me of a female Lajon Witherspoon, lead singer of Sevendust. Note to Walls of Jericho: St. Marie shows how to sing rough and raw without resorting to Cookie-Monster vocals. ANYWAY... the lyrics she sings are relevant to guys and girls, unlike those other girl-fronted bands. All I'm sayin'. They are in Joplin on Monday, and I can't wait to see the show. Their CD should be out in September, and I can't wait to get it.

Their logo has a fleur de lis, as well. They had me there, truth be told.

THE LOVELY PAULA HADSALL

2008-07-11T00:19:00.001-07:00

I guess she's TLPH now. Ah, who am I kidding. She'll always be TLP.

TLP has finished the name changing rounds. She has new checks on the way, a new drivers license, a new Social Security card in the mail and -- maybe, just maybe -- a new badge for her job.

Guess which one was the most difficult for her? TLP works with idiots, and one of the biggest idiots is the receptionist, who is the sole HR representative at that location of the company. This tool has driven my girl crazy just for wanting to change her name. Get this:

~ It took all of 10 minutes and $12.50 at the DMV to get a new license. All she needed was her old license, marriage certificate and a current bill.

~ It took ME all of five minutes to drop off a name-change form at the SS office in Joplin. Because they keep such wonky hours, we had to download the forms off the 'Net and bring them in.

~ Her bank was good to her: All she needed was the receipt we got from the SS office that showed a new card was on the way.

But what is good for the United States, the state of Missouri and a financial institution is apparently no good for the tube nut that wouldn't give Paula a new badge. According to the beehive-brained imbecile, TLP needed the actual new card to get a new security badge. The receipt wouldn't do it; neither would a new license. Compounding the problem: The company charges money for replacement badges, but was waiving that cost with the installation of a new security system. Paula couldn't get her new badge with her new name on it, and would have to pay for a newer badge once the SS card came in.

But Paula went over the tool's head and called her superior. Turns out all they needed was the receipt, after all.

From my point of view, this is a nice change. My last wife didn't even want to take my name, and I was OK with that. But Paula has been excited about taking my name. That, combined with what she had to deal with, makes me fall in love with her all over again.

ZOMBIE-MALL MEME

2008-07-04T00:09:00.001-07:00

You've heard the question. It's on everyone's lips, and it has nothing to do with the presidential race: "What's in Matt Blunt's e-mail that he's hiding, and that CNN is going to show?" I think I know. I don't buy rumors about a relationship with a girl (or a guy, according to a Post-Dispatch blog) who is not Matty Matt's wife. Rather, I think the Governor is embarrassed about his answer to the latest Internet meme.

Here's the sitch: You're in a mall when the zombies attack. You can have one weapon, one person, and one song blaring on the speakers. What are they? I'm dying to know what Blunt answered. While we await the results of this pressing matter of media relations, here's my answer.

WEAPON: The gravity gun from Half-Life 2. It only does two things: It pulls things to you or punts them away. That's it. No blood, no spiky things, no fiery splosions, no awesome laser-light show. How can this be the greatest weapon, fictional or otherwise? Dull, right? Yeah, right. Watch this baby in action.

Seriously: Think about all the things in a mall that you could chuck at zombies, from earring-and-bling shrapnel from Icing by Claire's to sofas and loveseats at Macy's. And we haven't even touched the supercharged version later in the game that can pick up and punt people. I think I'll get one and call her Vera.

PERSON: When originally discussing this with Scott, official boss of the Mailbox, I thought Milla Jovovich would be good, considering she has three movies worth of experience fighting zombies -- fierce ones, at that. Those zombies in Resident Evil were no Romero-tards. They were nasty vicious. However, Ms. Jovovich has the personality of a speed bump. Those screams of hers would grate on my nerves. So I got to thinking: With whom would the act of killing zombies be pleasurable, maybe even hilarious? The answer became clear:

Bruce freaking Campbell. Hell yeah. Come get some.

MUSIC: Instead of going for irony by thinking of a clever title or relevant lyric, I'm going for function with this one. Assuming that I need a gravity gun and Ash, it's safe to assume there's going to be a lot of freaking zombies. So much so that even the most awesome song would get old. I don't care how awesome a song "Killing In the Name Of" is, I'm gonna get sick of it after hearing it three times. So I select Dream Theater's "Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence," a 41-minute, epic prog-rock masterpiece divided into eight movements. The song is about the different ways people go insane, but zombies aren't mentioned, for some reason.

(For DT fans: Has to be the version from Score. One bad bass note, one feedback screech and an orchestra with no monitors can't stop the power of that performance, and you know it, so quit your whining.)

Those are my choices. What's yours?

OFFICIAL MAILBOX LOST GRIPE #30

2008-06-17T22:24:00.000-07:00

While we're waiting for wedding pictures, let me get around to something I've been meaning to post for a few weeks. The Season 4 finale... wow. Really. Wow. The show went above and beyond with the way it provided answers during the last few weeks. Especially refreshing was how Jack found out about his relation to Claire, and Aaron. Spoken loudly during that part: "Oh! That's why he's acting like an asshat!" Also, the reason Ben was wearing a coat in the desert. The way the Oceanic 6 bumped into Penny was a little too convenient, but that hokeyness was more than made up for by the rest of the episode. Christian Shephard appearing by the explosives to Michael was weird. And when the island disappeared... wow.

TLP, once again, called it correctly: Locke was in the coffin. I thought it was funny how alternate shots of Desmond and Sawyer were filmed, just in case. That makes me wonder how spiteful the producers would be, if some spoilersport (yes, Grammarphile, I just made up a word! Contact Urban Dictionary!) revealed the Locke ending.

But we got Locke. Which means that we know what to expect from the final two seasons of Lost:
~ Locke gets off the island and croaks.
~ Before croaking, Locke leads the others around. Hopefully, during these travels, we'll get to see the temple and some explanation of that four-toed statue.
~ A showdown between Widmore and Ben, which may involve the death of Penny and the pissing-off of Desmond. Rage may ensue.
~ The two-timeline presentation can continue, only instead of past-present, we will likely get present-future.

There's still a lot of questions to be answered, and I'm ticked off that I have to wait almost a year to get some answers. Which brings me to my gripe, in the form of a question: Does anyone on this planet know of a radio that can function deep underground to a boat several miles off the coast? I don't, either. Unless someone corrects me, that means that the ship should have sploded (another made-up word, Grammarphile! Don't be hatin') as soon as Keamy went underground to the orchid station. Keamy, you recall, was the mercenary leader who had the transmitter rigged to go off if his heartbeat ever stopped.

Another gripe: The island heals people. Why did the producers explain away Keamy's first death with a bulletproof vest? It would have been so much cooler if he would have been healed.

POOR, NEGLECTED BLOG

2008-06-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

I have no excuse for waiting more than a month to post.

Wait a second... I have a ton of excuses. I just got married. I just got a promotion. I've been working with a bunch of bright high-school students. I've been blogging on the wedding blog. I've been working on my writing. So please forgive me, and enjoy these bullet points:

~ I am now the proud husband of a hottie redhead, and the proud stepfather of two incredible boys, who are living with us permanently. The kids are great. The 8-year-old is energetic yet well-behaved, and so cute he has to be breaking some kind of law. The 16-year-old is responsible, funny, self-motivated and incredibly intelligent. Let me put it this way: I never thought I'd be the kind of dad who works on cars, and I never thought I would love it so much. And all y'all know how I feel about their mom, TLP. Best thing I ever did was to marry her.

~ I am now Assistant Features Editor at the Globe. One of my new duties is to guide the Globe's Youth Editorial Board. And those nine kids have been awesome. We've tackled some controversial issues already, such as random drug tests and MAP tests being replaced with end-of-course exams.

~ Since I haven't been blogging as much lately, check out this guy, who has been. He does what I sometimes wish I could do: Make fun of certain letter writers. Go get 'em, Johnny.

OFFICIAL MAILBOX LOST GRIPE #29

2008-05-01T22:20:00.001-07:00

It's not that I haven't been keeping up with the eighth and ninth episodes of season four. "Meet Kevin Johnson" was kind of bland, but not gripe-worthy. "The Shape of Things to Come" had some huge WTF moments, such as Alex getting killed and Ben releasing a second smoke monster (more on that below). But nothing gripe-worthy. Which makes me feel bad for tonight's episode, "Something Nice Back Home." It was one of the best episodes we've seen in a while because, as TLP says, it got back to the paranormal, mystical curiosities and human emotions that make the show so compelling. Yet, it features a moment of head-slapping idiocy that makes my stomach churn.

I'm not talking about how Jack wanted to be awake through his appendicitis surgery. Though that is, indeed, a brilliant display of dumbassitude, it's true to Jack's character. I'm talking about when he's looking at the X-rays, then hears a beep. He goes out to investigate, and it turns out to be a home fire alarm.

That's right. This modern doctor's clinic, with assumedly modern fire suppression features and security system, relies on Black and Decker to provide a chirp in the event of sudden smoke. The alarm was a gimmick to get Jack out of his office to see his father. I know there was recently a writer's strike, so that means there's doubly no excuse for such a lame prop. The writers couldn't have thought of a better way to get Jack out? The beeping could have been a security monitor, a lost cell phone, anything. Instead, it's a fire alarm one could find in a mobile home. Crikey.

Now that the gripe is out of the way, let's add to what we know:
~ Christian Shepard is likely alive, because Claire saw him and called him Dad. Also, Christian was holding Aaron. However, Miles' confirmation isn't much of a confirmation, because he can see the dead.
~ Faraday is up to something. He seems to be getting more comfortable.
~ Because of storm warnings in the KODE viewing area, we couldn't read the translations of Sun and Jin's conversation.
~ Maybe Kate's secret mission is related to Sawyer's daughter. Remember that Kate received help from Cassidy Phillips to find her mom. Cassidy is the mother of Sawyer's daughter, Clementine.
~ Credit the best find to TLP: Sawyer is not in the coffin.

WELCOME MOM TO BLOGISTAN

2008-04-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

With apologies to Ron Davis for getting bumped off the top spot in the Cohorts, I'd like to welcome Pam Dilmore, official mother of the Mailbox, to Blogistan.

Dilmore is the author behind A Good Word, a look at religious and poetic things. Mom, an ordained Methodist pastor, has helped me keep my head straight when writing about God and religion. For years, she has helped me sift through the extremists and blowhards and helped me see the true beauty in religion. I'm excited to see what kind of things she writes. Plus, she plays bass guitar. How many of y'all can say that about YOUR moms? Didn't think so.

CARD CATCHUP

2008-04-20T21:45:00.000-07:00

My obsession with cards started when I was three. I had a sherbet tub filled with different cards, and I used to play with them like crazy. I've collected cards ever since, although I didn't start a serious collection until I was in my 20s. My collection led me to a deck called the Ghost deck, and that led me to magic. Lately, magic companies have been introducing a slew of new cards, so here's a catchup of the newest decks I've bought over the last few months:

ELLUSIONIST'S SHADOW MASTERS: This is an all-black variation of Bicycle's Rider back, and it is sweeeeeeet-looking. Very dark, very gothic. Each card has a gradient design that makes the pips glow. Seriously... I've never in my life looked at a 10 of Clubs and said, "Wow," before this deck. See for yourself. I did a few tricks for a girl at Ground Xero on Valentine's Day, and I think she was more impressed with my cards than my magic. Because the card stock is white, so are the edges, but I fixed that with a black Sharpie. It's a sharp-looking deck, but it got clumpy after a while (before the Sharpie, even more so after). I'm also finding that the ink wears off near the edges on the faces. But it's durable, still fans well and the clumps help with flourishing.

THEORY 11'S BROWN WYNNS: OK, they are not exactly Theory 11's cards... they came from the Wynn Casino in Las Vegas. As the story goes, these cards were the rave at some magician's convention. They were intended for use on the casino floor, but never made it there. The guys at T11 made a deal for a few, and sold them in limited quantities. That makes this one of the rarest decks I own, in theory. TLP got me a deck for Valentine's Day (That's why she is THE ONE... she knows me too well.)

I'm not so sure the deck is worthy of all the hype: First off, they are casino Bees, which are some of the best cards on the market. But I'm skeptical why these would be better than any other Bees intended for a casino. I doubt the Wynn commissioned a special recipe of card stock. Anyway, they feel like Hoyles, pre-U.S. Playing Card Co. The fibers in the deck remind me of corduroy pants zip-zopping as I walk. They don't fan very well, either. But they are tough, the design is elegant (as far as corporate logos go) and they clump well enough for flourishes. The jumbo indexes make color changes startling. Sad story: I've lost my seven of Diamonds.

For grammar nerds: "Bee" is the proper trademark name for Bees. With the quotes. Check it out. I have no idea, but the Ace of Spades and box all say "Bee." Why? Who knows. Looks weird, like "Bee" isn't really the name.

THEORY 11'S CENTURIONS: Following up from the Guardians, T11's latest offering is a worthy successor. T11 improved the printing quality and style with this latest deck. I tested a deck out on my cousin Susan with a series of card tricks, and they performed well. Fanning, faro shuffling and most sleights went without a hitch. They are still a bit too slick for flourishes, but I'm more of a fanner, so that's not a problem for me. Some of the design foibles are strange: The jokers are better designed than the Ace of Spades and the lack of blue ink on the face cards is puzzling. I also wonder why T11 doesn't incorporate a joker reveal into the design. That being said, I love the face cards, which are done in black and red inks. I'll be using this deck often on the streets, once I start hitting them.

UP NEXT: Ellusionist is releasing the second edition of the Black Ghost, T11 is selling David Blaine's Split Spades Lions and Dan and Dave Buck are coming out with a deck. Good thing I'm getting a raise soon.

PERSONAL LIFE INVASION: IN PAIN

2008-04-12T01:36:00.000-07:00

I'm not physically in pain. But I wish I was.

TLP is fighting a wrist condition called Kienbock's Disease. Basically, a dinky bone in the middle of the wrist loses its ability to get blood and slowly disintegrates, causing all sorts of pain and havoc. Blessedly, it's in her left wrist, not her dominant right. But over the last few months, she's really suffered from it. And nothing seems to work -- wrist braces, injections, pain relievers, nothing helps the pain. It keeps her from sleeping well, it limits her work and keeps her from feeling halfway decent about anything.

Funny thing, though: She says she's whining.

She is enduring an amount of pain that would leave me fetal in bed with my cell phone turned off. I would fold, collapse and go postal. Yet she thinks she's whining, as if that withering bone was a fingernail that got cut too deep into the quick. I don't know how she does it. She is so tough. Her endurance staggers me. Here's the thing: Even though I couldn't handle it like she does, I'd give anything to take some of that pain for her. I'd sell my soul to the devil (if he existed) to have that dinky, blood-starved bone in my wrist and not hers. I'd give up the card tricks if it meant she could sleep at night.

The only option left is surgery: They'll fuse her wrist so that she'll lose most of her mobility. In other words, she won't be able to slap my face, but she'll be able to punch it, and give my arm a rope burn afterward. And hopefully, mercifully, it will stop the pain.

This is the ultimate frustration, and I guess I'm having a weak moment in dealing with it. The woman I love is in pain and there is absolutely nothing I can do to ease it.

NEW SATCH ALBUM OUT!

2008-04-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I missed it. A review is coming. Until then, enjoy the robots and puppets. And, as always, remember that this is Satriani's world. The rest of us just live in it.

I NEED A WII

2008-04-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

I have resisted getting a Wii, because they don't have the graphic capabilities of the PS3 or XBox 360. My sister got one, and I naturally felt the brotherly jealousy rise... "What? My sister has a more up-to-date video game system than ME? The guy who went through Ravenholm using nothing but the gravity gun? The guy who can beat Sonic the Hedgehog with one life? HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN!" Yet, still I resisted, because the abundance of games wasn't there, and the controller is just a cool peripheral -- games haven't yet been developed to take full advantage of its capabilities.

All that has changed.

The guys who make Homestar Runner have created a video game for the Wii. Should be out in June. Given how much time I've spent playing Trogdor, I must have it. It looks peripheral-ific!

Maybe Li'l Brudder will be in it.

GREAT MOMENTS IN JOURNALISM

2008-03-13T23:17:00.000-07:00

This happened about a week ago in the newsroom.

While writing this story, I had to open up the dictionary to confirm the proper plural form of areola. Sadly, it was edited out.

It's areolae, or areolas, in case you were curious. Heck, you're more likely to be using the plural, unless you're writing about Janet Jackson.

This has been... Great Moments in Journalism. (cue orchestra)

UPDATES

2008-03-13T23:03:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time coming, but I've added some links to the side.

About the Cohorts, my fellow bloggers. There's really no order to the list, save this: If I've met you in meatspace, you're at the top of the list. Other than that, there's really no ranking, except for Ron Davis. He'll always be at the top. I've added links to The Secret Drinker and A Running Commentary. The former drinks like a fish, I hear, and the second has a pleasant memory of an editor at the News-Leader telling him he made a mistake taking a job with the Christian County Headliner. Yep... some mistake that was, huh Matt? :)

If you've posted a comment, I've probably added you, as well. That means you, Life of Jason and Sugar Britches. Thanks for participating, and I'll do better at returning the favor.

About the Beacons: I've added The Chart, the student newspaper at Missouri Southern State University. Great bunch of students who get after the news. They are led by adviser T.R. Hanrahan, whose blog (Newsprint in My Blood) has been added.

About the Goodies: I added a few magic-related links. Those links aren't going to teach you how to do anything, but they have fresh content with amateur and professional magicians doing amazing things. Enjoy.

A quick refresher on what this blog is about: This is my personal blog, dedicated to all the geeky, interesting things I come across. I may also talk about media colleagues in the Joplin area, but always in fun. Because it's always fun to make fun of John Hacker.

OFFICIAL MAILBOX LOST GRIPE #28

2008-03-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

Wow. One of the best episodes we've seen in a while, even though we saw the return of Michael coming like a Michael Giacchino diss at the Oscars. The combo of a flashback and flash-forward made for a good punch in the gut. (A note to grammar nerds: Even though it looks weird to hyphenate flash-forward but not flashback, those are the proper spellings, according to Webster.)

Like I mentioned in the prior post, Lost operates according to its own set of strict rules. We saw an example of that in this episode. When Sun was in labor (in a flash-forward), she cried out for Jin. The moment hid the truth from the audience (that Jin was not actually alive, because his moment was a flashback), punching us in the gut when we got to the gravestone scene. There, Sun explained the moment away, saying that the doctors told her she was crying out for her husband. The technique was so good it made us forget all about Aaron, who is likely No. 5 of the Oceanic Six.

ANYWAY... it's frustrating when the show flops because it has to follow its own rules. Hence this week's gripe: Juliet tries yet fails to convince Sun to stay on the beach with Jack. When it appears Juliet has lost, she tells Jin that Sun bumped uglies with another guy.

WHY?! Did Juliet want to save Sun's life by ensuring some uncomfortable silence and soul-searching? Juliet later explains it away as an attempt to keep Sun on the beach, but we didn't believe that for a second. We can buy time travel, Jack's dad being alive and Libby falling in love with Hurley, but we can't believe that. When she spilled the beans about Sun's affair, she did so because she was ticked. Vindictive. Spiteful. Not charitable or Hippocratic oath-ic in the least. Sure, she had to explain it.

LOST CATCHUP

2008-03-13T20:32:00.001-07:00

A quick catchup before I write this week's gripe:

~ "The Constant": Boring episode. I've never said that about a Lost episode, but really it was. These guys think that it was one of the best episodes ever. Can you believe that? That ep was no "Tricia Tanaka is Dead," "Walkabout," "S.O.S." or "Greatest Hits." The reconnection between Desmond and Penny saved it, but the episode dabbled in one of my least-favorite sci-fi plot mechanisms: The scrambled timeline.

Lost operates according to a strict set of rules. Unlike other shows, Lost shows everything for a specific reason. And the things that don't quite make continuital sense (such as Walt growing three feet at the end of season 3) are either explained or joked about. But Desmond's trip back in time creates WAY more questions than the show can possibly answer. Was Penny searching for Desmond BECAUSE he demanded her phone number eight years ago? Or was that a lucky coincidence? Before that episode, Penny was already searching for Des. Then when he calls... did he just happen to keep the same number? The whole time travel just seemed like a weak plot mechanism to get Desmond on the phone with Penny. And it didn't do anything to move ideas about the island's time-bending properties forward.

~ "The Other Woman": This episode made up for the last one. We knew Ben was messed up, but DAYUM. But why is Jack kissin' on Juliet, when he's in love with Kate, allegedly?

AN OPEN LETTER TO RANDY TURNER

2008-02-28T21:16:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. Turner:

Regarding your coverage of American Idol contestant Asia'h Epperson, and particularly your live-blogging, I have two words:

Dude. Stop.

Yeah, she's from Joplin. Yeah, we're all proud of her. She's an incredible talent with a powerful story. Because she went to the same school where you teach, you're doubly proud of her. And several of your students know her. All that's cool. I get that. But you live-blog this reality TV show with the same fervor you give campaign reports and presidential debates -- if not more. Dude! You never got this excited about vouchers or lobbyists.

C'mon, man. Nine entries in one day? And a week later, 13? And your posts aren't all about Epperson. In several of them, you get downright catty toward the other contestants. You sound like one of the old guys at the gay bar telling awkward stories about the real Andy Williams. Why don't you just insert the words "girl, please" after every one of your commas? Put it in your autotext.

Have you even read what you've written? If I ever wrote, "Asia'h is performing Eric Carmen's 'All By Myself,' which I have to admit I have never liked, and it does not appear to be her best performance and she has missed a couple of notes, but she is putting on a show at the end and getting the crowd back into it. And her arrangement of the song is different and powerful. What an ending! She nailed it!", you would crucify me on your blog. Not only is that the run-on of all run-ons, but it's just bizarre.

DUDE!

Maybe this letter is meant to be a needed dose of intervention for you, Randy. It's OK. I've done the same thing with T.R. Hanrahan using a DiVinyls song to make a creepy hed. We're OK with occasional Epperson updates, but we hope this trend of live-blogging the show stops like one of those cacophonic (yeah, I made that word up) Idol auditions during the first few episodes.

I'm one of many in the Southwest Missouri province of Blogistan who links to you for one reason or another. We come back for a variety of reasons. None of them include your performance critiques of wanna-be pop stars. It's fine to give us updates, it's fine to critique media coverage of her, because we are all rooting for her. But your live-blogged posts on Idol give us a queasy feeling, like that uncle who hugs us just a little bit too long. On behalf of your readers, please stop. You're hurting us.

Signed,
~joe

p.s. I kid because I care.

Post edited 3/1/08

OFFICIAL MAILBOX LOST GRIPE #27

2008-02-16T13:17:00.001-08:00

Thursday's episode, "The Economist," told us a few crucial details. Namely, that Sayid is one of the Oceanic Six, that Ben survives and makes it off the island (assuming that vet's office is not on the island) and that just because there's an "Oceanic Six" doesn't mean that everyone else either dies or is left behind.

We also find out that Miles is an asshat. How long are the survivors going to put up with his crap? The Mailbox is glad he's in the hands of John Locke and his wonderful collection of knives. Also, Hurley is a turdburger. How could he set up everyone like that?

Back to Sayid, the most recent episode taught us that maybe he's not from Iraq, but from Arkansas. When he's in the cafe meeting Elsa for the first time, he orders an "expresso."

What?

A world-traveled man in Europe orders an EXpresso? When did Sayid become Bubba? The waiter must have known that Sayid was an American idiot, because he brought back a drink resembling an espresso. EXpresso? EXPRESSO?! My aunt Mabel from Tardtown, Mississippi orders EXpressos. Y'know, them expensive drinks at the QT. Gets her pumped up for a day at the outlet malls and bingo in Tupelo. Jeez Louise, actor Naveen Andrews! You're British, for the love of Jacob! You should know better!

OFFICIAL MAILBOX LOST GRIPE #26

2008-02-10T19:54:00.000-08:00

ABC.com has a couple of interesting sneak peeks about the next episode of Lost. Apparently, Hurley gets left behind and Sayid finds something interesting on Naomi's body, which will soon be corpsified and gross. But I will gladly miss the next episode, cuz TLP and I have a Valentine's date! GRIN. We're going to see Voltaire at Ground Xero, because we're evil.

ANYWAY... I just watched "Confirmed Dead" again. And two things stood out to me that made me want to pound my head on a can of Dharma creamed corn.

~ When Jack and Kate are grilling Daniel Faraday about his team, he stammers that saving the survivors isn't exactly their primary objective. Jack presses and asks what that objective is, but then Miles' blip shows up on the sat-phone. And Jack is content to let the physicist trot off. GAH! Grill that whiny scientist! Kate could kick his ass! But that's not the gripe...

~ The anthropologist, Charlotte Staples Lewis, is seen reading a French newspaper while in Tunisia. But she has to have someone translate the words from a French-speaking man. HUH? Actually, this makes sense, because I can read a little bit of French, but if someone spoke it to me, I'd be clueless. Never mind, the Jack thing above is the main gripe.

By the way: If Sawyer gave me a nickname, apparently it would be "Ferdinand."

OFFICIAL MAILBOX LOST GRIPE #25

2008-02-07T20:44:00.001-08:00

Season 4 is here. Huzzah! Only eight episodes. Boo.

No need for a recap, because there hasn't been a lot to recap. Only that six people made it off the island, and the survivors aren't getting rescued. Nothin' big.

Before getting to the gripe, let the Mailbox address something it wrote ages ago, in gripe No. 24. In the flash-forward, Jack tells a doctor to ask his dad upstairs if he's any more in control of his drinking. Before Season 4, the Mailbox thought it was a red herring. Since then, there's been the mysterious rabbit #15, Christian Sheppard appearing without Jack being around and Charlie appearing to Hurley in the future. Although the Casimir effect is referenced in the Orchid training video, I don't think time travel is going on. Dopplegangers, dude. Doppelgangers. All I'm sayin'.

As for the gripe, it goes for the season opener, "The Beginning of the End." Why does Jack not care about the message on Charlie's hand? That seems like something Jack would be slightly interested in, but NOOOOoooo. He lets Hurley have his speech and lets several leave the group with Locke... including Claire and Aaron. Jack gets his cojones back in "Confirmed Dead," tonight's episode. Second best quote of the night: "I don't know, Miles, how stupid are you?"

Best quote of the night: Locke talking about Walt. "It was Walt. Only taller."

INSOMNIA SUCKS

2008-02-06T00:57:00.000-08:00

Having a chest cold just complicates an old problem.

It's one thing to lie in bed, eyes wide open, neurons firing like guerillas, wondering when I can finally get to sleep. It's another to have all that going on with my chest making noises like a flatulent, emo teenager. Seriously, my lungs are making sounds that make Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! sound tonal and organized. Take that with the coughing and hacking next to ma soleil, who is a light sleeper, and I just give up. So here I am. Blogging, listening to Power Windows by Rush. Thinking that the Barenaked Ladies are poignantly correct.

This ticks me off pretty badly. It's not like I'm writing my great American novel in these wide-awake hours, away from my girl. I'm watching Robot Chicken, practicing magic or reading. But those who know me know I am not a morning person. Sleeping pills? Forget it. Paula has a theory: I fight the effect that they create. I believe she's right. She usually is.

I wish I could get into bed before 11:30 or midnight, so tonight, I'm acting on a bold plan. I'm staying up all night, so that when midnight rolls around, I'll be beat and compelled to get my butt in bed. Here's hoping it works.

For those who are curious, this is my favorite Robot Chicken moment:

CONSCIENCE CRISIS

2008-01-23T22:13:00.001-08:00

Yep, that's me. Fanning a deck of Shadow Masters from Ellusionist. Doing an intentionally bad impression of David Copperfield.

Those of you who know me know that I love to collect decks of playing cards, and that I have more than 200 decks. I've always had a fascination with card magic, and knew some gimmicky tricks. But recently, I've began to learn sleight of hand. I'm pretty good with cards now. I'm fairly confident that I could impress you with a few illusions. Stacy, official friend of the Mailbox, was in Joplin a few weeks ago. I bought a deck of pink Bicycles for breast cancer awareness at Books-A-Million and did a few tricks for her in the cafe. Her reactions were priceless -- she kept asking me how I did things, and she's a pretty smart cookie.

But recently, my enthusiasm and respect for magic have clashed with some of my core values about the freedom of information. I think we all have a right to know everything about our government and the world around us. Missouri's Sunshine Law and the Freedom of Information Act pretty much guarantee that. As a reporter, I fight for that. Soldiers may fight for the freedom of speech abroad, but journalists fight against our own leaders within who want to take it away. And I'm always telling people that open is better than closed. For every person that gives me crap about "being hard on MSSU," I get 10 times the feedback telling me I'm fighting the good fight.

So, I'm fairly shocked at my reaction of finding Web sites revealing many magic tricks.

I came across a page (on Wikipedia) that detailed a series of illusions you have probably seen David Blaine do. A link from that page took me to another that exposed virtually every trick he's done. The gist of one of the sites is that Blaine is a very good performer, but not the superhero he portrays himself to be. Then there's YouTube, where teenagers will buy tricks from Web sites and expose them.

Being a lover of free information, I should be applauding this. I've never been the kind of person to keep information from somebody else. I've always (perhaps naively) believed that knowledge is power, and the more you know the stronger you become. But I absolutely abhor how some people are callously revealing how many tricks are done, without regard for the audiences who appreciate such performances. It's disgusting. Don't get me wrong: I know magic is different than a governing board, which is bound to follow the Sunshine Law. Yet my conscience is clear, despite my dramatic headline. If you ask me how I do a trick, I ain't tellin'. No way, no how. I'd keep the same secrecy over an Erdnase color change as I would an anonymous source.

Which is the crux of this whole post: Trust. If I am going to keep a secret from someone else, then everyone else needs to believe that I have a good, honorable reason for doing so.

COLLECTIVE BARGAINING: MO NOT ALONE

2008-01-06T21:47:00.000-08:00

Missouri is not the only state considering collective bargaining. Reporter Andy Vuong of the Denver Post details the work being done by the state of Colorado, after Democratic Gov. Bill Ritter enacted collective bargaining by executive order. The directive he issued in November gave the right to about 30,000 state workers. Vuong's report compares what Colorado faces to the state of Washington, which granted collective bargaining in 2005.

Missouri is also dealing with the issue. As reported in today's Globe, a Missouri Supreme Court case granted the right, but no law exists as to how it should work. What makes Missouri different from Colorado is that education groups, not labor groups, are pushing forward legislation. Even more interesting: Two statewide teachers' groups with differing ideas on the process are putting forward their own legislation.

Totally unrelated: My cousin introduced me to Sufjan Stevens. I'm listening to The Avalanche and loving it.

BLUNT: NCLB REWORKING 'NOT GOING VERY WELL'

2008-01-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

Rep. Roy Blunt, R-Missouri, was in Joplin on Dec. 26 to talk about changes to the IRS tax code that would affect early filers. While he was here, he talked about the ongoing efforts to reauthorize the No Child Left Behind Act. His words: "It's not going very well. There is tremendous disagreement on both sides."

Blunt, who originally voted in favor of the act about five years ago, has become a vocal critic of the act. He has been in conversation with area superintendents and worked for a system that makes states the highest education authorities. Blunt said that Rep. George Miller, D-Calif., new chairman of the committee on education and labor, would have a bill to the House by Nov. 16, but Blunt hasn't seen it.

MSTA REP: LIST OF BEST SCHOOLS UNNECESSARY

2008-01-03T19:49:00.001-08:00

Kim Wencewicz, of the Missouri State Teachers Association, questioned whether a recent list of the top 100 high schools from U.S. News and World Report was really necessary, and would probably "line the bottom of the bird cage." From her MSTA blog entry:

"Why are lists like these necessary? What good results (come) from these lists? And are journalists the best source of information regarding the quality of public education?"

Missouri had no high schools in the top 100; Mount Vernon, Nevada and Pierce City high schools won bronze awards.

LOT GOING ON

2007-11-28T04:42:00.000-08:00

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It has been more than a month since my last posting. There's some interesting things in the works that I hope pan out, so don't give up on this site yet. Job's going great, TLP is still wonderful.

If you want to see how planning for the wedding is going, click here. If you want to read what I've been working on at work, click here and do a search for "Hadsall." If you want to hear Gir sing the Doom Song, click the video below.

FOX PULLS 'DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN'

2007-10-21T21:13:00.001-07:00

Whoops.

This picture is a screen capture from NFL highlights of the game between the Atlanta Falcons and New Orleans Saints on Sunday (Saints win! 22-16!). There, in the lower left, you'll see an advert for Game 1 of the World Series, between the Colorado Rockies and Cleveland Indians.

Maybe the Fox Network should have waited a little bit, since it broadcast Game 7 of the ALCS between the Cleveland Indians and the Boston Red Sox. The Sox pummeled the Tribe Sunday night 11-2.

Sorry, Tony Messenger. I'm hoping the Sox pull another Cardinal-style sweep. But don't tell Kris, official sister of the Mailbox and crazy-psycho Sox fan. I can't have her know I'm rootin' for her team.

MOCKERY OF TYPOS SURGES

2007-10-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

If there's any curse about being a journalist, especially one who has spent time as a copy editor, it's how typos, bad spellings, awful grammar and misused punctuation stand out like an awkward interview. If there is any joy, it's being with a woman who sees the same typos and finds them just as repugnant. True story: We almost took back fireworks we purchased because on the way out we spotted the stand's sign that said, "SATURN MISILES."

The Grammarphile, official friend of the Mailbox, has had a long, illustrious, 10-month career of finding typos and making fun of them. She makes reference to a cute and smart Grammar Stud, so I hope she's also in loves with someone who takes the same sick joy in being repulsed by lexicographical laziness. But what amazes me is the amount of links she has on her blog to other blogs dedicated to picking out mistakes. There's a lot of them. You should browse, read and gag along with the rest of us.

LOBBYIST HELPS FUND STATE'S DEFENSE

2007-10-14T23:14:00.001-07:00

Costs for a lawsuit against the state over funding education have already surpassed $4.6 million. The story is in today's Globe.

After I wrote the story, I received an e-mail press release from the Children's Education Alliance of Missouri, which states that lobbyist Rex Sinquefield helped the attorney general's office defend the case with an $800,000 private donation.

According to the blog Show Me Progress, Sinquefield has been quite busy figuring out how to skirt campaign donation laws. Sinquefield is president of the Show-Me Institute, a think-tank that advocates "school choice," which some have called a euphemism for a voucher system. The CEAM also advocates the concept of school choice.

SENATOR: MSSU SHOULDN'T BE A UNIVERSITY

2007-10-08T21:59:00.000-07:00

Missouri Sen. Ed Robb, R-Columbia, may have some 'splainin' to do.

The Columbia Tribune's Jason Rosenbaum blogged about how Robb allegedly told a Mizzou students' group that Missouri has too many universities (scroll down the page a tad). While a College Democrat spilled the news in a letter to the editor published in the Maneater, Robb admits to Rosenbaum that he would support transforming some regional universities into traditional community colleges.

Missouri Southern State University is one of his examples.

"We have too many universities," Robb said to Rosenbaum. "I think there must have been a contest to see how many universities per capita we can have. And [Missouri] Western and [Missouri] Southern were community colleges. And in the past decade they’ve become full-blown universities. And they’re very close to other existing four-year universities."

OH, MY NOLA...

2007-09-24T23:15:00.001-07:00

I'm remembering what it's like to be a Saints fan. Three losses, no wins? Ouch. That hasn't happened since Ditka.

A fellow fanatic, only inclined toward the Bears of the Windy City, warned me that if Reggie Bush or Drew Brees went down, season over. While that's true, it wasn't the biggest cause for alarm -- the Saints secondary was. Our defense makes good quarterbacks better and Peyton Manning look legendary. Vince Young, after the game where the Titans beat the Saints 31-14, said he wanted to be known as a passing QB. Sorry, VY. Not gonna happen until you throw TDs against legit Ds.

As for the Saints, I see the biggest problem as the O-line. The five Js were pushing Ds around last year, letting Brees take his time and do what he does best. In three games, Brees has thrown 7 picks -- all of them under pressure.

I'll always love the Saints. It's just hard sometimes.

QUICK HITS

2007-09-24T22:51:00.001-07:00

A few random bits:

~ I've been interested in "The Tirade," an outburst by Oklahoma State University coach Mike Gundy against Oklahoman sports columnist Jenni Carlson. She wrote a column that upset Gundy, leading him to launch a missive against her during a press conference. Gundy said that 75 percent of Carlson's column was wrong, but won't say what. ESPN's Monday night coverage: All they showed was the tirade. None of the aftermath -- or before-math.

~ President Bush and I agree on something! My father would be so proud. I did a story on Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad speaking at Columbia University, and local students' reactions. My personal view: What better way to show a Holocaust-denier what America is all about than to let him speak? Bush agreed with me. His quote to the Associated Press: His appearance "speaks volumes about really the greatness of America."

~ I wish I could receive KSPR-TV, based out of Springfield. After seeing a few Internet videos of their newscast renovation, I'm mighty impressed. Heck, I'm just glad to see Joe Daues back behind the desk and out of Hammons Field. At the new gig, Daues comes across as more relaxed and authoritative than he ever did at KOLR-10 -- and he was pretty good for that station, too. But I'm most impressed with the diversity of stories the news staff is getting. They are probing deeper, asking tougher questions, and producing solid reports. I hope Joplin TV stations are paying attention.

MSTA: BLUNT'S METS INITIATIVE LATE TO GAME

2007-09-19T21:08:00.000-07:00

I found an interesting post on the Missouri State Teachers Association blog about end-of-course exams, and the Blunt administration's blunt attempt to force privately-determined findings into public policy.

Angie Hull, school policy specialist with MSTA, expressed frustration at a team of METS members (Blunt's Math Engineering Technology and Science initiative) earlier this month. According to Hull, the team asked the State Board of Education to allow them to develop grade-level expectations based on their work of "uncovering instructional best practices," one day before the board hired a testing company.

Hull's response: "Where has this group been?! This has been a transparent policy process for years. There were multiple opportunities to participate and comment on GLE's. Moreover, does the METS coalition realize the inherent contradiction in the idea that businesspeople would present their versions of classroom best practices, when the very people who ARE and DO "best practices" are the educators who set the GLE's in the first place?"

Blunt has been touring the state, publicizing the funding of eMINTS classrooms. The state board recently selected Riverside Publising to develop end-of-course exams that would replace MAP tests for high school students.

PERSONAL LIFE INVASION: SHE SAID YES!

2007-08-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

I'm a little late posting this, but I got engaged to TLP last month. I'm thrilled that she said yes! Plus, she is appealing to my inner geek by agreeing to keep our wedding notebook in blog form.

I know! She is perfect for me.

So, that means we have a wedding blog that you should check out regularly. It's right here, so click here. Read, share ideas, tell us we're too cute for words... you know, the usual.

That reminds me. We set a date! It's on the blog...

WOLF-MAN TO RUN FOR MAYOR

2007-08-24T07:27:00.001-07:00

Jay Shannon, on-air personality for 100.5 The Wolf, told the Nixa Xpress that he wants to run for Nixa mayor. Current mayor Doug Marrs said he will not seek another term.

In the article, Shannon said this was "not some dumb, stupid radio publicity stunt."

Wouldn't it be great if Nixa resident George Spankmeister decided to run against him?

IPOD SHUFFLE RISES IN RADIO RATINGS

2007-08-15T20:49:00.000-07:00

Full disclosure: I am biased against radio stations with no on-air personalities. That's why I'm shocked and appalled that 95.1 Mike-FM passed KSYN 92.5 in the most recent Arbitron ratings for Spring '07. After all, the station is nothing but an iPod Shuffle with commercials. And it advertises itself using the same upside-down billboard strategy as Keystone Light. Ugh.

Zimmer still wins big, occupying four of the top five spots in the No. 239-ranked Joplin market. Kix 102.5 is still No. 1 with a 14.2 share, KSYN takes No. 3 with a 7.7, Lite 93.9 and the Big Dog 97.9 tie for fourth with a 7.1.

This is a big victory for Ronald Petersen's radio station with it's punch into Zimmer's domination, costing KSYN a 2.5-point drop. Kraus in the House shouldn't worry too much, though. Q107, the other CHR/Top 40 station holds an anemic 1.6. Petersen also punched past all of FFD Holding's stations. Speaking of FFD: It's good to see Rock105 keep up its success: the alternative station rose from a 4.2 to 4.4. Not a big gain, but even more important, it's not a loss.

Over in the Springfield market, KTTS takes the top spot again. In Joplin, the station is up in ratings, pulling a 1.1 over its .6 from the fall '06 book. WTF?

Let the stations begin spinning the latest results.

CHRISTIAN HOMAGES IN FINAL 'POTTER'

2007-08-08T00:43:00.000-07:00

Gregg Easterbrook, otherwise known as Tuesday Morning Quarterback, makes some brilliant points in his football column this week.

You'll have to scroll down to find them, because dude writes one of the best, and longest, football columns in America. He is the only known football columnist who is also a Brookings Institute scholar. So, look carefully for his bit about Potter in this week's football column -- it's between the bits about the Sopranos being a bad TV show and Larry King's predilection for psychics. Seriously.

His point: J.K. Rowling joins C.S. Lewis and Phillip Pullman as great British authors of fantasy series for children. Lewis is unabashedly Christian in the Chronicles of Narnia, Pullman is unabashedly anti-Christian in "His Dark Materials." The latest Potter book shows that Rowling is more favorable to Christianity, giving some of the wisest words in the Bible prominent places.

Reading Easterbrook's thoughts made me smack my head, wondering why I didn't catch on to that. A small group of outspoken Christians raised Cain over Harry Potter, suggesting that Rowling's writing skills would subliminally teach our children witchcraft, acceptance of sorcery and other ungodly things. Give Rowling credit for seeing the big picture in Christianity and seamlessly weave it into the wizarding world. I think Rowling understands Christianity much better than others.

IMMATURE FUN WITH DOUBLE ENTENDRES!

2007-08-06T17:33:00.001-07:00

This here blog has been too serious for a while, so it's time to introduce a healthy dose of immature fun.

You know when you're talking to a group of friends and someone says something vaguely dirty, then someone else in the group snickers, the first one is like, "What, what did I say," then a third person is like, "Dude, did you hear what you SAID?" and the first person is all, "What? Y'all are a bunch of pervs."

What, only me?

When I'm reading some of y'all's blogs, I read some hilarious double entendres. It's like my inner Beavis and Butthead start giggling and laughing. In the vein (but not a complete ripoff) of Lex and Terry, I'm going to start the Blogistan version of "Out of Context." This is meant in fun, so let's not take ourselves too seriously here. After all, we're all friends in Blogistan. We're all one big group of people talking and listening. And just because I'm the one posting doesn't mean I won't have one either. If you read a double entendre in one of my posts, call me out like the immature brat I am.

With that in mind... Vincent David Jericho, congratulations for inspiring this game. With your recent entry about popsicles, I've been laughing like a seventh-grader for a week. Jericho writes:

So gentlemen I suggest you go to a private place, do a self exam and find your popsicles. Once you do pull a little juice out of them and start standing up for yourselves and this community.

Awesome!

OKLAHOMA'S NEW VEGGIE: WATERMELON

2007-08-06T01:07:00.000-07:00

Remember how you felt when you found out that tomatoes were fruit, pumpkins were vegetables and Soylent Green was people? Throw this in that category: Oklahoma has officially declared watermelon to be the state vegetable.

Not surprisingly, there was partisan debate when the legislature debated the measure in April. The Republican state Senator sponsoring the bill says that Oklahoma already has a state fruit (the strawberry). Since the watermelon is from the same family as cucumbers and gourds, which are known as veggies, and since he represents a town that has a watermelon festival, the watermelon should be the official state veg.

Not so fast, says a Democratic Senator, who holds up a dictionary that states watermelon is a fruit.

Weird. I wish my eyelids could make that blinking sound.

This informative blog entry has been brought to you by insomnia.

CIA, NSA SAY BLOGGERS ARE JOURNALISTS

2007-08-02T17:48:00.000-07:00

Though surprising, it makes perfect sense that the Central Intelligence Agency and National Security Agency would weigh in on the debate about whether bloggers are journalists.

The above-linked story reveals that both agencies have changed their policies to treat bloggers as journalists. Bloggers now qualify for the same treatment usually reserved for reporters when using the Freedom of Information Act. The moves were made in response to the increasing presence of bloggers at political events.

The change demonstrates that the traditional press uses the same rights as the rest of the public, which helps squelch the myth about reporters having special laws to get information. (Though the law provides the same tools for gathering information to the press and public, the press does get laws protecting it from revealing information, such as shield laws.) More importantly, it shows how prevalent bloggers are becoming in society, whether they are considered journalists or not.

ROWLING'S PORTRAYAL OF JOURNALISTS: RIDDIKULUS

2007-07-31T21:17:00.000-07:00

I've read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," and my review is below. It contains spoilers. But before I get to that, I'll share an interesting Potter-related press release I came across.

Interesting study from MU released today: Apparently, Rowling's portrayal of journalists doesn't affect college students' perceptions of journalists.

You know... Rita Skeeter, Xenophilius Lovegood and the like. One's a fame-obsessed chronicler who alters the truth and uses unethical methods to get the story, the other publishes the wizarding world's equivalent of the Weekly World News. When those two characters aren't mentioned, the media seems to be in the pocket of the government and/or mired with incredulity. Rowling's books are not very kind to journalists.

At least doctoral student Daxton R. Stewart was careful to ask more than 650 non-journalism students on the MU campus how they felt about journalism and if it was really as horrible as Rowlings portrayed. Of course, the results came back in favor of the media. Note how the press release refers to "first year students," not "freshmen." How Hogwartsish.

But why does this release suggest that media are a little wounded Rowling's treatment? First of all, it's hard to find ANY fiction that is kind to journalists. Nothing against Stewart's study, which is no doubt interesting. But Rowling's portrayal is hardly unique, and nothing compared to the fictions about journalists spoken often by many talk-show radio hosts (despite the large amount of content newspapers provide their shows).

Secondly, and more importantly, Rowling isn't very kind to many careers and vocations. Look at her treatment of government officials: Both of the Ministers of Magic in the seven books are detestable, and it's hard to find anyone in the Ministry, other than Arthur Weasley, who makes us admire a position with the state. Barkeeps and/or restaurant owners aren't exactly role models. Bankers? They're goblins. Even authors get a bad rap. Remember what happened to Gilderoy Lockhart?

We in the media tend to do our share of navel-gazing. If we're bent out of shape about Rowling's treatment of journalism, then we're probably a little too sensitive.

'DEATHLY HALLOWS' REVIEW
Here's a message for those who predicted Harry lives, and those who predicted Harry dies: You're right! I predicted back in December that Voldemort would hunt Harry and that the book would focus on the construction and history of Hogwarts. Wrong and wrong. I can admit it.

I can also admit loving this book. Since I am a Potter fanboy, I can forgive little quibbles, such as all the confusion over the wands, the excessive angst over Ron leaving, the cheesy way he came back, the emo-style burial of Dobby (contrasted with the "whatever" treatment Fred Weasley's death earned) and the weird, hurried way the war at Hogwarts started.

One of the main gripes seems to be over the epilogue, "19 Years Later." For fans wanting to say goodbye to Potter, this was a hurried shove out the door. What happened? Did he become an Auror, a teacher at Hogwarts, the star Seeker of the Chudley Cannons, the new editor of the Daily Prophet? All we know is that he still dislikes Draco Malfoy, he married Ginny and -- most importantly -- he lives happily ever after. It's likely that Harry's life turns quite dull after destroying the greatest dark wizard of all time, leading Rowling to believe that "Harry Potter and the Numerous 401(k) Rollover Forms" is a story best left untold. BUT GIVE US SOMETHING, FOR THE LOVE OF MAD-EYE!

The epilogue (here I go with unbridled speculation, AGAIN) leads me to believe that Rowling will not stop writing stories about the beloved wizard.

HUGE RUBBER DUCKY INVADES OZARK

2007-07-25T16:20:00.000-07:00

Sure looks that way, according to this picture from this week's Christian County Headliner News. The story is about an upcoming rubber-duck race. The photo looks like it could feasibly be about this movie.

That, class, is the reason news photos should not be doctored. Good Photoshopping is invisible. Bad Photoshopping is hilarious, awful or both.

Full disclosure: I used to work for a sister newspaper of the Headliner, so here's my guess of what went wrong: The photo was actually a photo illustration, with text placed on top of the photo once it was imported into layout software. And the Web site's layout doesn't show cutlines or identify who took the photos (huh?). But, only the photo was updated to the Web site. I haven't seen the printed edition to verify this, but I'll find out. Editor Donna Osborn is one of the best in southwest Missouri, and I can't imagine this running on the front page on purpose.

Still, it's a hilarious picture by itself.

STUDENT APPEALS ONE-YEAR PUNISHMENT

2007-07-25T00:32:00.000-07:00

A Carthage student is appealing his suspension over a gun-related incident. Susan Redden writes the story in today's Globe.

In a nutshell: Junior Stefan Hukill fired an Airsoft pellet gun at a friend in May. He was on Main Street in Carthage, his gun was clear plastic with an orange tip and fired a little rubber ball. The incident happened during lunch, but Carthage has an open campus for lunch.

The junior will effectively stay a junior: He has been suspended a full year for the incident. Hukill thinks that's too harsh -- especially for an incident that didn't warrant any criminal charges.

The Carthage school board went into closed session to discuss his appeal, despite pleas from Hukill's attorney to keep the appeal public. I understand that the board was within its rights, but just because governments CAN close certain things doesn't mean they SHOULD. If Hukill was wishing public exposure, it should have been granted. Instead, the Carthage school board appears to have egg on its face.

Is this an over-reaction by the board fueled by Memorial Middle School, or is there more to the story regarding Hukill's behavior? What will the board decide?

GINORMOUS ADDITIONS TO DICTIONARY

2007-07-24T22:38:00.000-07:00

I can see my grammarphilic friend Red Pen Inc. cringing over that headline, and how it uses a made-up word.

Only, it's not. "Ginormous" is in the 2007 edition of the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, along with "sudoku," "crunk," "hardscape," "perfect storm," "Bollywood" and "nocebo." Strangely enough, the definition of "crunk" doesn't say anything about an awful-tasting energy drink pimped by a Southern rapper.

Now, if only M-W would designate "grammarphilic" as a real word...

PERSONAL LIFE INVASION: VAY-CAY

2007-07-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

The Mailbox will be off on holiday for a few days. I don't plan on posting, so check back around July 16. I'll bring y'all back some seashells.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FOIA

2007-07-03T22:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day. I can think of no better way to celebrate our independence than by thanking our forefathers for the First Amendment's freedom of speech and reminding everyone about the freedom of information.

On this day, 41 years ago, a brilliant piece of legislation was signed into law. Ending a trend of the government hiding its business from the public, the Freedom of Information Act allowed people to know more about their government, their taxes and what their elected leaders did in their name. Since then, states have followed up with their own versions. Missouri has its own Sunshine Law, and every citizen should be familiar with it and FOIA.

You'd think that with the advent of "e," information would be even easier to access. Not always true in some cases. Wired presents a wrapup of the top five wins and losses for FOIA dealing with electronic means. Sure, Wired pats itself on the back, but the story is a handy reminder of what our government thinks applies. Then again, a Wired blogger says how he really feels about the act.

IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT MEME

2007-07-02T22:53:00.000-07:00

Dagnabbit. I got tagged for another vicious meme. This one: "Eight things you'll regret asking about." So I have to write about eight things that are deep, dark, TMI blurbs of info? Fine, Ron. But I'm not telling them about the photo shoot using clothes from Town and Country.

~ I am scared to death of bees, hornets and anything stingy, even though I wasn't stung by one (four, actually -- plowed through a nest of bald hornets; they weren't happy) until I was 33.

~ I am a huge gamer: I spend way too much time playing and collecting Pirates of the Spanish Main.

~ I am completely awed by my girlfriend and her capacity to care for others. I feel like I take advantage of her, because I don't feel like I could ever love her as much as she loves me.

~ I grew a beard because a girl broke my heart.

~ The next girl I dated I treated like absolute horse manure, because I wanted to break a heart for once.

~ I once asked the president of the University of Missouri about relations between Mizzou and Mo. State a year after the name change -- in a room filled with journalists and graduates of Mizzou.

~ I met Joe Satriani, got his autograph and blubbered like a moron. When I heard him play "Flying In A Blue Dream" live, I cried.

~ I have Reggie Bush's autograph on my Saints helmet.

Alright, Sniderman, Randy Turner, Secret Drinker and Red Pen, Inc. Your turn to dish.

PUTTING THE E IN EDUCATION

2007-06-27T21:47:00.000-07:00

The U.S. Department of Education wants to know what you think about technology in the classroom. The department is seeking input from people on their Web site, as to what role they think tech should have in our schools.

Already, Southwest Missouri classrooms are pretty wired. We all know about all the SMART Boards in classrooms. One of the stipulations of the $57.3 million bond for new JopMo middle schools is to rewire North Middle School in order to accommodate the interactive whiteboards, computers and projection units for many classrooms. The R-8 district also has a pretty impressive program for getting more technology in schools.

Carl Junction is ahead of the game: Their board members work with laptops and e-documents instead of traditional board booklets (which also means easier public inspection of board business... g'head, see for yourself). Webb City's superintendent is reluctant to go to such a technical solution, but other districts are interested.

However, Joplin is expected to take a deeper look into its policies regarding electronic devices brought in by students. Board members will likely delve into the topic during their next meeting.

~ Here's a special bulletpoint for my grammarphile readers: Just like there's no such common nouns as a Kleenex, Frisbee or Xerox, SMART Boards are proper names for interactive whiteboards. Occasionally in journalism magazines such as AJR, companies will take out ads featuring the proper use of their names. Smart Technologies may want to consider that.

QUICK HITS; MEDIALAND CORRESPONDENT NEEDED

2007-06-21T22:46:00.001-07:00

Apologies for the drizzle of posts. I've been working serious overtime lately. No gripes here... I'm saving up for something sparkly. More about that later. :) For now, here's a few quick hits:

~ Riverview Gardens is the latest district to lose its accreditation. The Missouri Department of Elementary and Secondary Education reports that it is the second district in the state and in the St. Louis area to lose accreditation this year.

~ A bill pushing school start dates back was signed into law. Two predictions: 1.) We'll see a marketing blitz from the state tourism department, encouraging us to take our vacations in-state; 2.) Most school districts will use the opt-out provisions and start at relatively the same time. Joplin will fall into this category. Educators think that it makes more sense to end the first semester at the Christmas break.

~ The Joplin City Council approved hiring two new school resource officers for the Joplin R-8 School District. The cost will be split between the city and district, but the city is getting its money from a three-year grant. When the money runs out, we'll see if school security is still a priority for the city.

~ Neosho teachers will be getting a raise. The aggregate 5-percent increase will push the base to $32,368, just barely over Joplin's base of $32,000, also recently raised. Joplin's 7-percent aggregate includes bigger raises at the masters levels, however. The Department of Elementary and Secondary Education reports that the average salary for Missouri teachers was $40,397 in 2006.

~ A final parting thought about Ron Davis' new job: He was once a tourist, a travel journalist who would bring us tales and legends from a mystical place called Medialand. Now, he's a sworn-in citizen! Once they indoctrinate him, he certainly won't be able to issue his dispatches from the land of the pretty, talking heads. Who among the Springfield bloggers will take up the mantle, carry the torch, keep the home fires burning, all that jazz? I wish I could, but the new digs in Joplin make that tough.

With that in mind, I nominate Blogistan's favorite rodent, the Snarling Marmot. She has the chops, the writing ability and the thick skin to pull it off.

BLOGGER GOES MAINSTREAM: DAVIS TO LEAD KSPR

2007-06-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

One of Springfield's best has accepted a position with one of Springfield's worst.

Ron Davis, chief wordmonkey at the Chatter blog, has accepted a position with KSPR-TV as a senior producer. KSPR, recently purchased by the same company that owns KYTV, has long suffered at the bottom of the ratings. The quality of the news product is not exactly known as the cream of the crop.

That's about to change, if I know my old boss.

Davis took me under his wing at 417 Magazine, and taught me much about journalism, growing a spine, being a community journalist and believing in the cause of journalism for journalism's sake. He is one of a few who believe that journalism is still a noble profession.

An interesting twist for his new job is his newspaper background -- Davis spent many years with the News-Leader, back in the Randy Hammer days. His story about the Acid Tunnels is stuff of legend. But, after landing a cake job with the NL, he and shutterbug extraordinaire Mike Wingo left the 800 lb. gorilla to start a little something called 417 Magazine. Since then, he's held the occasional talk-radio gig, run a media company, managed a campaign and started the occasional talk TV show. True, his strongest experience is with the written word, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a new technology with which he is unacquainted. My guess is he already has two of these in his pocket, and one is just for playing with.

Will KSPR news be -- dare I say it -- exciting to watch? I wish I could. Sadly, KSPR doesn't reach into the Joplin market. But, I suspect Davis will be changing that with the Internet. Other changes at KSPR will be revolutionary. At the very least, I suspect the David Kadushin drinking game will come to an end.

I wish the best of luck to Davis and everyone at KSPR. You're in for a wild ride.

INTOLERANCE FOR ZERO-TOLERANCE

2007-06-15T23:12:00.000-07:00

Zero-tolerance policies are coming under fire. According to this Associated Press story, people are losing faith in the policies, most instituted as either platforms against drug use during the Reagan years or hastily implemented after the Columbine tragedy. Lawmakers in Texas, Mississippi and Utah are scaling back some of those zero-tolerance policies.

Since the Memorial shooting last October, the Joplin district has had a program called, "Just Tell It!", in which students are encouraged to pass on any threatening information they have to an adult, whether it's a parent, teacher, principal or guardian. In contrast, a task force chairman interviewed in the above story said that "kids are walking on eggshells" because of all the stiff punishments they face for seemingly innocent acts, such as bringing a butter knife to school.

Still, zero-tolerance policies seem to make sense to many when firearms are involved. In April, a North Middle School student brought a BB gun, which was manufactured to resemble a real gun, to school accidentally. Combined with a report of intruders, a lockdown was initiated. At the scene, parents seemed in favor of stricter, even-less tolerant punishments for such incidents.

Missouri lawmakers haven't announced any intents to study zero-tolerance policies. If they do, where should the line be drawn?

BlZARRE BLUNT NO-SHOW BLAMED ON WEATHER

2007-06-15T22:56:00.001-07:00

Governor Matt Blunt was supposed to be at West Central Elementary today at 5 p.m., for a ceremonial signing of House Bill No. 2. Less than two hours before the event, his office sent an advisory, canceling the event because of "inclement weather and tornado warnings" in the Joplin area.

Huh?

Just to make sure, a quick call to the Springfield branch of the National Weather Service led to the confirmation that there were no tornado or severe thunderstorm warnings in Southwest Missouri on Friday afternoon.

We know Blunt showed up at Springfield at about 3:30, thanks to this report on News-Leader.com. On second glance, that link appears to be copy-pasted from Blunt's press release, even though the byline credits News-Leader staff, so I'm not so sure he made it.

It's not a big deal, in the big scheme of things. In my opinion, this would have been another media event in which Blunt could take credit for the hard work of the General Assembly. Still, the Governor coming to town means something to many in the Joplin area. The school made preparations for his visit, so blaming the cancellation on fictitious weather fronts is either a bad mistake or a lame excuse.

I can't wait to hear the explanation.

JOPLIN SENATOR NAMED TO POWERFUL POST

2007-06-13T16:34:00.000-07:00

Sen. Gary Nodler, R-Joplin, was named chairman of the budget appropriations committee today by Senate President Pro Tem Michael Gibbons. The position will put Nodler in charge of the Senate committee in charge of drafting the budget.

Nodler was recently credited with rescuing the MOHELA sale, which was part of a higher education bill passed last month. When in Joplin for a ceremonial signing, Gov. Matt Blunt said Nodler rescued the controversial sale when it was on "life support."

Will this appointment translate into additional financial support for Missouri schools? Time will tell. Already, he gets glowing reviews from officials with Missouri Southern State University. They credit Nodler for fixing an inequity in the higher-education funding formula, which basically shafted MSSU on state funding in comparison to similarly-sized schools. This year's budget calls for MSSU to get an increase in state funding.

However, a key provision of Nodler's higher-education bill keeps universities from raising tuition fees past the rate of inflation. If universities find themselves receiving less money from the state, and if the Coordinating Board for Higher Education doesn't approve a tuition increase to keep up, then universities will be forced to scale back and/or cut programs.

HUZZAH! MST3K SNARK RETURNS

2007-06-11T17:01:00.000-07:00

MST3K is back!

Well, sorta.

Wired News reports that the creators of Mystery Science Theater 3000 have returned with more snarky comments about popular B-movies. At Rifftrax.com, you can download Mike Nelson's commentaries and listen to them alongside many popular DVDs.

The one thing I wished MST3K would have done is slaughter popular B-movies and other sci-fi classics. Nelson does that: For $3 a pop, you can hear his commentaries about The Matrix, Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones, the pilot episode of Lost, Eragon, Casino Royale and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory -- old school style, not that Tim Burton abomination. Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot won't be appearing, but the guys who did the voices -- Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett -- will.

Here's a freebie from their Web site. Enjoy.

SYSTEMATIC CHAOS: A REVIEW

2007-06-09T00:08:00.000-07:00

Dream Theater used to have a message board on their Web site. It was filled with passionate users who had frank, brutal opinions about their favorite band. When Octavarium came out, the board was filled with people slamming the album, calling it full of ripoffs. Nevermind that it had a title track that is easily DT's most powerful epic ever. Or that it made use of a symphonic orchestra, which the band expanded for their live DVD, Score. Naysayers said that one song sounded too much like U2. Another sounded too much like Muse.

The point that these rabid, passionate fans made is that the band should be exploring its own music, not piling in influences. Those influences were the same thing as ripoffs, in their eyes.

I never agreed with those fans. Dream Theater has always been open and honest about its influences. Instead of rehashing something that has been overplayed on the radio, they take something they have heard, twist it and turn it into something fresh and engaging.

Take the second track of their new album, Systematic Chaos. "Forsaken" is a song about vampires. The song is filled with the sound of Evanescence, with a haunting, Michael Myers-esque piano melody played on top of low guitar and bass playing in gothic unison. Anyone that listened for two seconds might think, "Yeah, Amy Lee wannabe." But after listening to "Forsaken" all the way through, the average listener will be blown away. Odd time signatures add an urgency to the sound. Keyboards simulate a full orchestra and add punch to the chorus. Mike Portnoy's drums add complexity and groove.

The same happens on most of Systematic Chaos' eight tracks. A sharp-eared listener can pick out Foo Fighters and Queen in "Prophets of War," Megadeth in "In Constant Motion," Black Sabbath and Rush in "In the Presence of Enemies." Are those ripoffs? Hardly. But if you call those ripoffs, then you have to also call "ripoff" when you hear strains of Liquid Tension Experiment, A Change of Seasons, Voices, In the Name of God, Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence and many other Dream Theater songs.

I don't buy into the argument that DT is ripping off other bands. Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" is a ripoff. Come to think of it, almost any rap song is a ripoff. Even Evanescence is a ripoff. Don't believe me? Listen to Lacuna Coil. Dream Theater pays homage to those bands by extracting those influential styles, adding layer upon layer of counterbalance and creating a magical, full sound that travels far beyond anywhere the original influence could have gone.

Systematic Chaos is a great introduction to the world of progressive rock where, like learning to drink beer, the music becomes quite enjoyable once you acquire the taste. Systematic Chaos is one of the band's better releases. Dream Theater fans should be immensely pleased with a CD that was expected to be a sequel to the aggro "Train of Thought," yet is a much more musical journey. If you have never listened to Dream Theater before, prepare for an adjustment period. Once you hear what's going on, your ears will never be the same.

MOHELA PETITION-DRIVE WITHDRAWN

2007-06-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

The MOHELA founder who submitted a referendum to put Gov. Matt Blunt's "Lewis and Clark Discovery Initiative" to voters has given up. The story is in today's Globe.

Politically, John Hancock of Missouri Pulse said that Democratic opponents have only legislation available to stop the sale. Before Purdy's concession, Fired Up Missouri suggested that new federal legislation would make the sale illegal.

The petition might have thrown a monkeywrench in building plans, had it gone on. The governor's office said that universities should proceed as if the check was in the mail. Had Allan Purdy garnered enough signatures, there would be some serious screeching sounds from universities slamming the brakes.

The bill authorizing the sale of MOHELA's assets had been signed just days before Purdy turned in his referendum. The fight to get to that point took two years, and most of the fighting in the first year was between the governor and Republicans in the legislature. But still, this was Allan Purdy -- a founding board member of MOHELA and involved with the creation of Sallie Mae, according to his wife, Vivian. Even belatedly, his effort to alert the public shows his concern about the issue.

And though Purdy has conceded the idea of having voters decide, I don't think Missouri has seen the last of the debate over the MOHELA sale.

AUDIO BLISS, GEEKING OUT

2007-06-05T21:38:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful day. Systematic Chaos is out. I'll have a review later.

I went to get it during lunch (heck yeah, I bought the special edition with the bonus CD/DVD that has a making-of documentary and every track in Dolby 5.1!) and brought it back to work. I was hoping that I could listen to it while writing, especially since the battery on the iPod was dead and the Musak in our office is more loud than it used to be. I don't care what anybody says: It's difficult to write stories when "Free Bird" is playing.

Yeah. "Free Bird."

ANYWAY... Long story short: Through the miracle of technology, my computer geekiness and iTunes ver. 1.1 (Yeah. iTunes ver. 1.1), I was able to hear parts of it while writing my story. Initial impression: Wow. This album is fierce. I thought it would be corny, but WOW. I really think that Jordan Rudess is the best thing to happen to Dream Theater. Not that KevMo and Derek Sherinian weren't great, nay, incredible. But as awesome as those two are, JR is on "a whole nother LEVEL." He brings and enhances the band's compositional skills, turning a standard rock song the "The Dark Eternal Night" into a blend of grungy camp and blistering thrash. The unisons between JR and John Petrucci are amazing -- their first unison in the first minutes of the first song almost brought me to tears. And the slower songs, such as "Repentance" and "Ministry of Lost Souls" are powerful yet restrained.

Like I said, I'll post a review, once I'm done geeking out.

HARD TO BLOG ANONYMOUSLY

2007-06-03T22:13:00.000-07:00

The blogger behind thinkingthings found this story from the Boston Globe which should throw more gasoline on the fire started by the Springfield News-Leader, when it suggested that bloggers should sign their names to their blogs. Just about everyone in the Ozarks province of Blogistan has thrown in their two cents, including many of the blogs listed to the right.

The story talks about Robert P. Lindeman, a pediatrician on trial for malpractice. He wrote about the trial anonymously on his blog "drfleablog," which has since been taken down. While on the stand, opposing counsel asked him if he had a medical blog. The exchange, which might have puzzled jurors, telegraphed a message that the plantiffs were ready to bring the contents of the blog into the trial. Lindeman eventually settled the case.

Thinkingthings is right. Since I'm riding her coattails with this post (thanks for the ride!), the only thing I can add is that it is truly amazing what people will say under the cloak of anonimity. Want proof? Next time I write a report on the Joplin school board, read the comments. I guarantee some anonymous writers will go way over the line with personal attacks on board members.

Nine times out of 10, an unsigned, anonymous opinion means very little to me, personally. But that tenth time, it might be pretty important. The journalist's rule of thumb regarding anonymous sources seems to apply in the debate about anonymous blogs. Anonymous sources are critical to reporting. But the public needs to have trust in the media source that there is a legitimate reason for the source to be anonymous. Seems to me that bloggers and opinion-writers who conduct themselves uncivilly do more to harm legitimate anonymous writers.

'UNCONFIRMED REPORT' OR 'FALSE ALARM?'

2007-06-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

Blogger Joshua Rosenau, he who thinks Thoughts in Kansas, passes on some thoughts about KU's updated security since the VT shootings. Specifically, KU's public safety department sent out what Rosenau was a false alarm about an alleged rifleman on the campus. He criticized all the fuss over an unconfirmed report.

The first comment attached to the post appears to be written from someone at the Lawrence Journal-World, who alleges that there was so much buzz about a shooter that the university HAD to put out some sort of warning.

According to the reporter's comment, the story behind the story is that there was scanner traffic that had to be investigated. Given that many law enforcement officers responded, and that anyone who was there would have seen all those officers, the paper felt it had to put a post on its Web site. However, people who saw the post complained that they DIDN'T get notified from KU's new system. Nevertheless, Rousenau said the false alarm wasted his time and criticizes the media for biting on it. "Unconfirmed reports, as anyone in the news business will tell you, only create fear and confusion," he writes.

The exchange shows the difficulty of informing a student populace of a potential threat. LJW is taking a hit for reporting the police action (even though it later identified it as a false alarm) and KU is getting hit for letting the LJW post the first information about the unconfirmed report.

Maybe this makes me flippant and trite, but the spelling errors in the KU security e-mails bug the heck out of me. A "uconfirmed" report? A "permeter" search? Those are the kind of misspellings that would leave me doubled over in pain, leaving myself unable to run from a crazed shooter.

OFFICIAL MAILBOX LOST GRIPE #24

2007-06-01T22:30:00.000-07:00

With the conclusion of "Through the Looking Glass," the third season of Lost ends on an intriguing note. The ending didn't initially sit well with the Mailbox, but the more it thought about it, the more kick-butt it became. By having Jack in a "flash-forward," and because of what happened in that glimpse of the future, the island has become even more mysterious.

As usual, the show has created more questions than answered previous questions: What does Jack do that makes him want to get back to the island? How did Jack and Kate survive? How many were rescued? The Mailbox thought the season would end with Locke killing Ben and taking charge of the Others. At least he's not dead.

Hurley had the best moment, plowing through Others with a Dharma V-Dub. Sawyer killed Zeke in cold blood, and the Mailbox wasn't revolted. It even whooped. Things fell apart beautifully for Ben. Jack also showed some stones by not letting Ben manipulate him. Sayid broke a guy's neck with his FREAKING FEET. The first two seasons ended with much more resolutions than the third, but the Mailbox loved this episode. Basically, it shows that the island has many more mysteries, and that rescue, or salvation, won't come easy... if at all.

But that doesn't mean the Mailbox has no gripes.

~ Why did Jack kiss Juliet, but tell Kate that he loved her?

~ Why didn't Charlie try to swim out of the hole? Even though Patchy survived a spear in the chest, surely he couldn't survive a grenade blast. The revelation that the boat was not Penny's should have trumped the whole "gotta die so Claire and Aaron can get on the copter" thing. Instead, he Sharpied his message on his hand. Betcha he's not dead...

~ What the driveshaft was Patchy thinking, splodin' hisself to flood the station? Maybe if he knew he was going to die, OK. But he put the diving gear back on! That HAS to be a sign of interest in self-preservation!

~ Locke can chuck a knife into a complete stranger, but he can't pop a cap in Jack? Especially after being resurrected by Walt, or whoever that was?

The Mailbox's biggest gripe goes to the obvious, however. In one of Jack's flashforwards, he gets in an argument with the chief surgeon. Though the Mailbox can't find the exact quote now, Jack says something about bringing his father down, in order to compare who handles their drinking better. But we don't know that it is a flashforward until the very end. The Mailbox thinks that scene is a deliberate red herring. Although people have come back to life, they have to be on the island. Jack's dad was dead long before he crashed.

Every scene has a reason in Lost. The show is meticulously designed for a bigger picture and larger purpose. That's why the Mailbox feels like it was suckered by that scene. If that statement is explained in a future episode, then fine. But it feels like the producers set that scene simply to trick us. Not shock us. Tricksy hobbitses... can't be trusted, my precious...

Anyway, it's gonna be a long time until February. However, the Mailbox has season two on DVD, and will get season three the day it comes out. So, if it finds anymore gripes, it will pass them on.

RESEARCH: STEREOTYPES DAMAGE PERFORMANCE

2007-05-31T22:14:00.000-07:00

The Chicago Sun-Times reported an interesting story about stereotypes damaging a person's performance. A University of Chicago study shows that the popular stereotype of boys being better at math than girls affects girls' performance and ability to do math. The results were published in the current issue of the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.

In a nutshell, the study quantifies and clarifies the exact nature of how a stereotype negatively affects a person. The methodology, in a nutshell: Two groups of female college students with exemplary math skills were assembled. The first group took a pre-test and a test. The second group took the same tests, but between them, they were told that it was part of a study to determine why men were better at math than women. The women in the second group performed "drastically worse," according to the news release.

A couple of questions:

~ That stereotype is older than the '50s. Does anyone really believe men are better at math than women?

~ Where is the study about how men perform with the same kind of stereotype?

Thanks to Rudeclerk for the heads-up.

SPACE MONKEYS, ANGRY NERDS, EMO ORANGES

2007-05-30T21:47:00.000-07:00

Man, did I have a great idea for a blog entry tonight. A brilliant post about sex education in Missouri schools, a recent bill that passed, a Congressional study about abstinence-only education and, um, well, monkeys. Terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose. I know, it's complicated.

But it was going to be so brilliant! Consise, clever, nuanced and witty.

But, I got to yakking on the phone, heard some interesting gossip and... you know.

So, enjoy my must-have-been-separated-at-birth twin brother. He gripes about video games, drinks beer, cusses and is a geek. This is definitely NSFW and/or kids. He really knows how to cuss.

And if that's not enough, enjoy these emo oranges. (Thanks, Melissa!)

FACEBOOK 101 FOR NOOBS

2007-05-29T23:06:00.000-07:00

An innovative approach to computer education is taking place at America's universities. The Wall St. Journal reports on how students are beginning to study social computing. Like classes on video game design, this is an attempt to make "technology studies relevant to students' lives," according to the article.

Traditionalists would argue that the classes are a waste of education and tuition fees. Considering the reach of these classes, which also delve into psychology and sociology, traditionalists would be wrong. The impact that MySpace and Facebook -- or even America Online 10 years ago -- has had on interpersonal communications is gargantuan.

Honestly, these classes make me wish I was back in college. The thought of studying blogs and wikis appeals to my inner geek.

NEW MATH IN INDIA IS REALLY OLD

2007-05-28T21:20:00.001-07:00

Take a glance at a clock with a second hand. Now, what is the square of 115?

How long did it take you to get 13,225? It probably took some Indian students only a second.

Kamlesh Shetty told Wired News how he came up with the square of 85 in less than a second.

"To find the square of any number ending with 5, just put 25 on the right-hand side," he said. "Take the number that precedes five. In this case it is 8. Add 1 to it. So in this case it becomes 9. Multiply 8 and 9. You get 72. 7,225 is the square of 85. It's easy."

Julio Leon, president of Missouri Southern State University, has talked about how students in Brazil, Russia, India and China view a college education as salvation. Manu Joseph's story details how far Indian children will go to secure a coveted spot in India's main engineering school -- to the point of searching out the Vedic formula above.

As for the Vedic formulas, 16 of them have been found in cryptic Sanskrit verses. There is an amount of controversy involved in finding such specific, accurate mathematical formulas amidst praises of Lord Krishna. Maybe the Bible explains phi in Matthew 7:12.

PREVAILING-WAGE BILL DOESN'T PREVAIL

2007-05-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Rep. Marilyn Ruestman, R-Joplin, submitted a bill that would let school districts opt out of paying prevailing wage to construction workers. It never got farther than a committee hearing.

Union workers are likely sighing with relief, but smaller school districts will likely be disappointed. Ruestman estimated that a school could get 25 percent more building without paying workers higher wages. If the bill gets submitted next year, then it will give both sides a chance to strengthen their cases:

~ Proponents of the bill, especially school districts, should explain how contractors can build a quality product without the quality-guarantee of which construction unions boast. These are publicly-funded school buildings that will house a community's children, so the highest quality is paramount. Having trained workers is a no-brainer, but how does a school district convince its patrons that only trained employees worked on a school?

~ Opponents of the bill need to explain why prevailing wage is so important. Not every school district can raise the millions needed to build a quality building through property taxes and bonding. Smaller school districts see buildings in Arkansas and Kansas -- built by the same companies that build schools in Missouri -- and wonder why they have to pay so much more in wages.

If any of you are in the business of building schools, the Missouri Department of Labor and Industrial Relations released the latest prevailing wage schedule. If you're an asbestos worker, you'll get $28.14 an hour.

PERSONAL LIFE INVASION: MEMORIAL DAY

2007-05-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

It's nice to have a holiday. And it's only Sunday night. But, I've been fighting a virus on my compy all day, and finally got it pegged without having to do a format C. Woot! Still, I haven't yet been called into the office, so tomorrow looks like a day to be lazy, read, write and catch up on things. Got some blog-related bullets:

The Mailbox used to be the subject of a humor column in the Nixa News-Enterprise. "The Mailbox" character would browse through all the weirdness in e-mails, faxes and such and spit out a column every week. Basically, it was a locally-generated humor column to complement the paper's entertainment section. When the paper ended that, the Mailbox continued its shtick on this here blog.
Yeah, it's been a while since the Mailbox has written. The Mailbox is realizing that it's kinda weird, not-very-funny-anymore and complicates comprehension. So, it will fade into the background for a while. It might rear its snarky mouth every once in a while, but for the most part, it's going into hibernation.
That means I'll be posting more in this blog as me, Joe Hadsall. Though the Mailbox was never intended to be a pseudonym, it just doesn't look right without a regular humor column behind it.
So, what the hey do I have to say? Well, plenty. The name will remain the same, but this blog's focus will shift a tad. I'll still update you on my fiction, prog-rock bands, books, tech-weirdness and other such geeky things. I imagine I'll do my share of navel-gazing and write about journalism and newspapers. I'll also stop offering commentary on the media in Christian County. My former employment makes my critiques worthless and my motives bitter and jaded. Plus, I'm not exactly there to see it anymore...
But I'll add some focus to education issues, mostly state and national trends. Covering education for the Globe has been an incredible experience. There is so much more to the stories I cover, and I'll get the chance to expand on some of those things. Plus, I'll keep you updated on education-related trends, politics and other interesting aspects of how our children are trained for this world.
As far as my politics, I consider myself a common-sense moderate. I'm not here to engage in stereotypes or kneejerk political blabber. Y'all don't need me to tell you how to feel.
I have also updated the links of my fellow bloggers, including local, political and some other cool blogs. Enjoy.
Sorry, Randy Turner. I won't be dishing any gossip about the Globe on this blog.
The Mailbox will still pop up and voice its "Lost" gripes. Speaking of which, it has one due...

That's about it. Thanks again for your patience. Send your feedback to mojoe@cableone.net.

UNDECIDED: DRAGONFORCE

2007-05-12T21:52:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to think about DragonForce. Go ahead, watch the video below.

I was told that DragonForce is the new Dream Theater, so I had to check the band out. I've watched all the videos and listened to all the songs that I can, and I'm still undecided about whether to burn caysh on these guys.

GOOD: Damn, those two guitarists rock.
BAD: Avenged Sevenfold wants its sound back.
GOOD: The drummer has incredibly fast feet and is tight.
BAD: The drummer plays so fast it sounds like thrash polka.
GOOD: They have a frenetic, hectic and majestic sound.
BAD: It makes me think of Jack Black in "School of Rock" playing at twice the speed.
GOOD: The singer actually sings well, instead of impersonating Cookie Monster.
BAD: He sings cheesy lyrics about mystical wars and medieval battles.
GOOD: For thrash metal, they are tight, musical and sound pretty solid.
BAD: For thrash metal, they sound like their audience is eight-grade D&D players.

VERDICT: They are definitely not the new Dream Theater. But they are decent. I just don't know how I can justify DragonForce in my iPod.

WHEN PROG-ROCK AND PROMOTION UNITE

2007-05-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

What a difference a new record company can make.

Dream Theater signed with Roadrunner Records for their upcoming album, Systematic Chaos. Since that time, they have started a MySpace page (finally), released a song as a free mp3 (kick-ass), requested bootlegs for a YouTube page and put out extra videos to promote the upcoming album, including this online press kit.

Here's the latest to hit the 'Net: This is a recording of "Dark Eternal Night" on top of footage taken in the studio. Watch, turn the volume up and marvel at bassist John Myung's fingers and drummer Mike Portnoy's feet.

The Mailbox doesn't remember a time when Dream Theater was so well promoted. From the sounds of the two songs released, it doesn't sound like they've made any musical compromises for mass-market consumption. The Mailbox is excited as all get out about Dream Theater's future. The real question is whether it will translate to higher record sales, but Roadrunner will see that we DT freaks are loyal buyers, even though our number is not as high as the group who will buy whatever popcrap the radio tells them to.

Two petty gripes from the two songs: There's too much singing about mystical beasts and Portnoy is not the best backup singer. But John Petrucci has some amazing performances, Portnoy is all over his kit and the band sounds tight -- especially the unison between Petrucci and Myung. Can't wait for June 6.

PERSONAL LIFE INVASION: GOODBYE NIXA

2007-04-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

It's been real, crossroads of Christian County.

The next time this computer is plugged in, it will be drawing power from Empire District Electric Company in Joplin. I have family from Tennessee and Kansas helping with this 80-mile move, and I can't thank them enough. Tomorrow, we'll load up the U-Haul. Monday, I'll close on my old Nixa house and new Joplin house. After that, I won't have to drive 80 minutes to work anymore. I'll get back almost 3 hours a day and almost $250 a month in gas savings. And that will end the chapter of my life in Nixa.

I'm leaving behind bittersweet memories of a city that accepted me as a lifelong resident. Even though I graduated from Kickapoo, I've always felt more like an Eagle. Get this: I actually cheered, whooped and hollered when Nixa smeared the 'Poo in the 2005 Blue and Gold. I leave behind memories of starting a family, only to have those dreams stolen by a cruel ex-wife. I leave a house that still holds the echoes of two step-kids I loved until it hurt.

I'll also leave behind a newspaper that I loved. I poured my heart, soul and guts into an award-winning newspaper that is now defunct. I thank Community Publishers, Inc. for giving me a chance to learn firsthand about community journalism, and teaching me about the corporate decisions behind them. For it to change into a hideous amalgam of eye candy and sound-byte journalism leaves me feeling like a failure of sorts. Sheesh, Nixa, don't you care about real news?

OK, I admit... there's more bitter than sweet. Christian County is the home of much heartbreak for me.

But life is looking pretty exciting. I'll post pictures of my new house, so y'all can see it. My job at the Joplin Globe is going very well, and I'll be able to do a better job without the massive drive sucking my energy. I'll be able to write much more fiction. I'll be able to take regular walks with my dog. I can start giving back to a community again. And I'm starting a new life with the best thing that ever happened to me: TLP. She is moving in with me! She means so much to me, and has sacrificed so much to move to Joplin with me. She is my beloved muse -- she keeps me writing and looking for beauty in the ugliness around us all. And, we'll be working the same hours, so we'll get to spend more time together.

Anyway, to all the friends and acquaintances I made in Christian County: It's been fun. I'll miss you and never forget you all. Thanks for taking me in as one of your own.

OFFICIAL MAILBOX "LOST" GRIPE #23

2007-04-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

This week's episode was filled with some interesting info. We found out that Jin is indeed the father of Sun's baby, but that means she is now on death row, alongside Charlie. We found out what that creepy nursery room was for. We found out that Jack may not be so trustworthy. We found out that Juliet is helping Ben because something is being held over her head. And we found out that the rest of the world thinks that no one on Flight 815 lived. Obviously, Penny didn't think that info was something La Senorita Paracaidas should know. That also means that the people running Oceanic Air may be heavily involved with Mittelos or whomever is backing the Others.

ANYWAY... the Mailbox's gripe goes back to last week's episode, in which Desmond saw a series of visions, including Charlie taking an arrow in the throat. If you recall, some of those images include Hurley picking up a wire, a blinking red light, someone dangling from a tree and Charlie helping with the parachute. Without a scar on his neck. Despite having that crucial piece of information, Desmond was still prepared to let Charlie hack and gurgle to death.

OK, so Des didn't know the exact order of the visions. Let's assume the arrow-pokey-neck vision came before the vision of Charlie helping with the chute. That would have told Desmond that he needed to save Charlie from the arrow. But, assuming necky-sticky-gurgle came after chutey-helpy-down, then Des would have already rescued Penny, meaning he would have been free to save Charlie.

There was no reason for Desmond to let Charlie die. In other words, he's a dick.

PRESIDENTIAL RACE? CHECK MYSPACE

2007-04-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

The Mailbox noticed something, while listening to Lacuna Coil and Dragonforce and messing around on MySpace. Politicians.

Don't worry -- they're not going Tipper Gore on us. They are using MySpace as part of their campaigns. They are featured in the "Cool New People" section on MySpace's front page. Joe Biden, Dennis Kucinich, John Edwards, Sam Brownback, Barack Obama, John McCain, Tommy Thompson, Hillary Clinton, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney and many others campaigning for national office have their own pages.

Paging David Catanese... your expertise is required to let us know what the Brownback is going on.

The Mailbox thought that MySpace was for wasting time, keeping in touch with friends and exploring new music. It makes sense; bands use MySpace to send out announcements to fans, so why shouldn't politicians do the same type of thing? It's all part of an effort on MySpace's part to get people involved in politics.

So far, Repubs and Dems are joining up, taking up space on MySpace. Still, it doesn't seem like the right place for politics. The Mailbox has enough problems with the politics of determining who its top 24 friends should be. The Mailbox does not want to pull up these pages and hear Barack Obama's favorite song. And the Mailbox dreads getting a bulletin from Kucinich saying, "I am so bored so I filled out this survey." And what about the band-whores who fill their top friends with bands? Are we going to have politician-whores?

Then again, it shows that Tom can be friends with anybody. And speaking of friends, the Mailbox can't wait to see how many underage porn-bot slutty types are accepted as friends. "Oooh, look. Brownback is friends with 'LipsSoHot4U.'"

TLP's thought: "Well, it makes it easier for them to pick up teenagers..."

Check out John Edward's friend list. John is in every picture! Either he's "teh haxx0rs" with Photoshop or he has some strict rules about who gets to be his friend. And he has 39 top friends! Does the Federal Election Commission know about this unfair advantage?

Hillary Clinton has a dorky ad encouraging you to be her MySpace friend: "I am not only voting for Hillary, SHE'S MY FRIEND!" Gag barf puke. And how come Bill Clinton isn't one of Hillary's top friends? TLP's thought: "Maybe he realizes MySpace is crap and is too smart to have a page."

Michelle Sherwood, official friend of the Mailbox, lamented about Rudy Giuliani's cowardly appearance in the Ozarks. Giuliani's MySpace page gives us a clue about his ideas on sharing information. G'head, click on that link. WHY IS A CAMPAIGN MYSPACE PAGE SET TO "PRIVATE?!" That's stupid. That's stupid stupid. That's like having a fundraising dinner where one of the nation's top Republican's hosts you and promises the press a few moments, then takes it back.

COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IN THE NAME OF GOD

2007-04-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

Margo Crawford, official friend of the Mailbox, sent an interesting e-mail about T-shirt entrepreneur Todd Goldman, the guy who made those controversial T-shirts about boys being stupid. Some think Goldman is a hack artist, plagiarist and copyright infringer. The story is interesting, but it got the Mailbox thinking about another form of copyright infringement.

Apparently, some forms of copyright infringement seem acceptable, but they are really not. Those logos are intellectual property theft, advertising a religion that says, "Thou shalt not steal." Hell, even that trash-talkin' bunny was stolen by Christians.

Remember Calvin and Hobbes, created by Bill Watterson? God bless that man...no comic strip will ever be as good. There was a legendary strip that was nothing but Calvin and Hobbes dancing. Art from that strip started appearing on T-shirts advertising spring break trips and parties. Then this abomination surfaced. Apparently, Calvin has no problem peeing on everything from car logos to entire countries. The next iteration of that theme was to turn Calvin from a pisser to a believer. Apparently, choosing between those two is quite difficult for NASCAR fans.

Watterson's struggle to keep his comic strip off of merchandise was legendary, and eventually forced him to stop drawing the strip. He said that he hasn't seen a dime from Calvin appearing on anything, including a sticker. That means Calvin peeing is on the same level as Calvin praying.

The Mailbox is more forgiving of the corporate-logo spin-offs, because the Christian twists are satirical in nature. Besides, these companies have paid big bucks to place their logos everywhere, burning their vector-based graphics into our brain cells. But what's wrong with originality? God gave us creativity; why not use it? The Mailbox found that some Christian stuff can be funny and original.

OFFICIAL MAILBOX "LOST" GRIPE #22

2007-04-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

This week's episode was interesting, but kinda corny. Damn, Kate is a cold bitch. Then again, Sawyer probably likes it that way. The "surprise" ending was no surprise. OF COURSE it wasn't gonna be Penny! The only OMG moment came when the strange woman said Desmond's name.

The Mailbox is kinda puzzled about Penny, who has appeared to have finally found where Desmond is (unless the producers pull a whole new story line out of their asses). If Penny knows, why wasn't she on the copter? Or does she know about the island's power to bring down aircraft? Apparently, Desmond was wrong -- the copter going down proves that Desmond didn't crash Flight 815, as he previously thought. Admittedly, all these questions may be answered by the end of the season.

The Mailbox's gripe: Why the hell does Jin do anything with anyone else?

Desmond sees Jin in his vision and wants him to go along, but doesn't know how to convince him. Hurley interests Jin by telling him it is a "camping trip." What is the point of all the male-bonding if he can hardly understand what everyone is saying? Usually, these expeditions end badly. Sure, he doesn't know the language, but he's seen enough of these trips to know NOT TO GO ON THEM. Sun need to teach Jin how to say, "Screw you, I'm staying home."

LOUIS SKOLNICK WAS RIGHT

2007-04-14T23:38:00.000-07:00

Remember that scene from Revenge of the Nerds, where Louis Skolnick scores with Betty Childs in the funhouse? Remember how she was fooled, because Skolnick was wearing a mask, but then realized that nerds make better lovers? Remember how Skolnick said it was all because nerds think about sex all the time? Ever thought that was a load of Windows 2000?

Regina Lynn proves you wrong. Eat it, jocks.

Even Justin Timberlake thinks so:

PLAYING CATCHUP

2007-04-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

OK, so the Mailbox hasn't posted since March 27. Question for Catholics: Is there a patron saint for bloggers who don't blog? How about a penance? Since election day, things have been crazy. The Mailbox apologizes for all it has missed, including:

~ Lost. There are still two episodes the Mailbox hasn't seen, including the ep that allegedly justifies Nikki and Paulo's existence.

~ The Saints' schedule and future. The franchise will be in town for at least four more years, which means for at least two years, talking heads on the radio and black-and-gold doom-and-gloomers will have to bitch about something else. The Saints open up the season against the Colts on Thursday night. And they have four prime time appearances this season. BLISS!

~ Don Imus. Whatever. The Mailbox thought the takes of Chatter and Ozarks Messenger were interesting. He said what he said, but the question that should be asked is whether his loyal listeners share the same sentiments. Sniderman, chief wordmonkey for The 2 Dollar Bill, has the best solution.

~ The new Nixa News-Leader and Ozark News-Leader. The Nixa NL hit the Mailbox's mailbox. It's interesting that they are going with a full-size format, with the same fonts and style as the Springfield News-Leader. Familiarity will go far with readers. But why the heck does a paper that says "Nixa" at the top have a picture of Donna McQuay on the front page? And why does a new publication have a bunch of old news in it? Overall, a weak start, but once the Gannett boat gets going, it's hard to stop. Another plus: It looks like the Springfield News-Leader used to look.

~ The death of Curbstone Critic, John Stone. He died doing what he loved. God bless him.

~ God of War 2. The Mailbox hasn't had a chance to play this yet, but wants to badly. Also, the Mailbox desperately wants Guitar Hero 2.

~ A code of ethics for bloggers. The Mailbox isn't a fan of the proposed code, because it tries to change blogging into journalism. The Mailbox thinks readers should hold bloggers to the same level as radio talk shows and the like. Bloggers may break news, but bloggers choose their news according to their own opinions and news values.

The big news for the Mailbox: The big move is finally happening! The Mailbox will introduce you to its new digs in Joplin when it gets moved in. Until then, posts will be few and far between. So thanks for your patience.

THE MOTHER OF ALL MOVIE REVIEWS

2007-03-27T17:28:00.000-07:00

Very rarely does the Mailbox come across a movie review like this: Moriarty of Ain't It Cool News calls this -- Neill Cumpston's review of "Grindhouse" -- the only review of Grindhouse you need to read. This was sent to the Mailbox from a guy who does some pretty classic reviews himself -- Scott Meeker of the Globe. The Mailbox loves the first 'grafs of his review of "Black Snake Moan":

It was one of those movies that would be difficult to recommend to many people. Now, if someone were to come up and ask, “Do you know of any good movies about a nymphomaniac who is beaten and left for dead on the side of the road, then discovered by an old bluesman who chains her to his radiator and cures her savage sex drive through some scorching Southern blues? Well, that’d be easy. “Black Snake Moan” is your movie, my friend...As for anyone else, ehhh ... it’d probably be a safe bet that it’s not going to be your cup of tea.

Before reading Cumpston's review, the Mailbox was not the least bit interested in Grindhouse. "Whooo," it said. "A girl with a gun for a leg? Bruce Campbell called, and he wants his idea back." Now? Well, the Mailbox is still uninterested by Grindhouse, but may now consider watching it at the dollar theater.

"He could f--- a bulldozer into eight Mini Coopers." That's just prize-winning reviewing right there.

PERSONAL LIFE INVASION: SATCH!

2007-03-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

Things are pretty interesting right now. There's an offer on my house that may be accepted -- meaning I can finally move to Joplin and stop doing the daily drive. Of course, that leads to a whole bunch of new stress related to a move.

But none of that matters right now. TLP, the greatest girlfriend in the world, got us tickets to see two of the greatest guitar players in the world -- and the greatest rock drummer in the world is going to be there too. Joe Satriani and John Petrucci are playing tonight in KC as part of the G3 tour. WOOT!

Remember: This is Joe Satriani's world. The rest of us only live in it.

CHRISTIAN COUNTY TO SEE NEWSPAPER BATTLE

2007-03-16T21:34:00.000-07:00

Another good ol' newspaper war is about to get started, and it will likely be fought in Nixans' mailboxes. But instead of paper vs. paper, the Mailbox thinks this war will be fought between newspapers and readers.

Having worked in Christian County, the Mailbox is fascinated with media coverage of Missouri's fastest-growing county. Christian County has always been a tough nut to crack, media-wise. Circulation numbers for both companies have always been much lower than they should be, given that the county's population is growing like kudzu. However, all that unserved readership is too tempting for Gannett and Community Publishers, Inc. to leave on the table.

CPI already made its move to claim its share. The company felt a weekly newspaper was unsuccessful for Nixa, so it replaced the Nixa News-Enterprise with the Nixa Xpress. It's a weekly tabular publication delivered free to every Nixa resident's mailbox. The switch inflated circulation numbers, facilitating the advertising value. The Christian County Headliner News, long perceived by Nixans as an Ozark paper, became Nixa's "newspaper" by default.

Next month, Gannett will make its move: The News-Leader should be releasing a news product specific to Christian County. Already, it's editor, Chad Hunter, has been making the rounds, getting it started and covering county news. It will also be some sort of free publication. If it succeeds, its business plan will become a blueprint for publications for other suburban markets, such as Marshfield and Bolivar (where CPI has more-established publications).

The N-L's Christian County pub will no doubt use a multimedia approach. The Mailbox hears that all N-L reporters will be armed with videocameras as of April 1, so that they can file audio and video stories as well as news stories. Ads will be sold on the basis of appearing in several of the N-L's slew of spin-offs. However, the pub won't have any of its own reporters -- Hunter will have to rely on a staff that has assignments for other pubs.

CPI's likely response to the new competitor will be to blanket the area with samples. The Mailbox hasn't seen any marketing of either of its products, and likely won't. However, marketing the Headliner to Nixa is a wasted effort, since the Headliner doesn't have any Nixa news that isn't in the Xpress.

However, the real competition isn't between CPI and Gannett, as much as it is an experiment to see exactly what kind of publication that will get Christian County's attention. Will it be a traditional weekly newspaper, an alternative-style free pub or the who-knows-what backed by the 800 lb. gorilla? Gannett has the clear advantage, because it won't be afraid to throw a big initial investment into the market. CPI has always been timid about placing its names anywhere other than a newspaper, so the Mailbox thinks Gannett will win this battle by attrition.

That stinks, because the Mailbox has a soft spot in its heart for the Headliner. As for the Xpress: It isn't worth the paper it's printed on until it does 15 questions with Reba Pfander and gets the cereal off of its front page.

DRUMMING PRODIGY

2007-03-16T16:48:00.000-07:00

The Mailbox is depressed.

Holy crap. That kid -- Eloy Casagrande -- is good. I'm jealous of what he can do with his feet. This video was recorded at the Modern Drummer Festival in 2005. So no telling what the kid can do now. Maybe we can catch up once the English version of his Web site is released.

Yeah, the Mailbox is two years too late on this. That's YouTube for you...makes the past the present again.

SPELLBOUND BY BEE CONTESTANTS

2007-03-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

I don't usually editorialize over stories that I write for The Joplin Globe. But I'm impressed as all get out over these kids.

They are fourth- through sixth-graders, and they were spelling words I have never heard of. And I consider myself one of the more geeky, vocabulary-loving types. But sagathy? Coacervate? Picotee? Ecchymosis? Destrudo? I had no idea these words existed.

If you read the story, you saw the sidebar which gave some definitions of the words. But several of those words weren't even in our abridged Webster's dictionaries. Not even Merriam-Webster's Web site had them, without registering and paying for an upgraded membership. To find the definitions, I had to refer to the Globe's unabridged dictionary.

We keep it in a dungeon in the basement, right past the sand volleyball courts and Jeremiah Tucker Memorial Music Library. The unabridged dictionary is guarded by gargoyles, ninjas and a series of intricate traps. I successfully got past the gargoyles by using a creative combination of glass cleaner and tent stakes. The ninjas nicked me a few times with their throwing stars, but I slipped past them (thank goodness I wore the Doc Martens instead of the Rockbridges). I placed the talisman on the stake at exactly 4:27, but I had forgotten that the series of ancient traps had not been corrected for the proper Daylight Savings Time. Fortunately, Scott Meeker chose that exact time to surprise the ninjas and save me. He rigged an avalanche of debris (mostly movie press kits) that pushed the ninjas into the boiling lake of lava below. We got the definitions, closed the dictionary and dashed off before we got flattened by the huge, strangely-spherical-for-a-boulder boulder and went over to the Globe's smoothie bar.

All in a day's work for a reporter, I guess. Funny thing, though: I never knew the Globe had a sand volleyball court.

ANYWAY... congratulations to the participants in this year's Joplin Globe Spelling Bee.

POINTLESS ADVERTISING

2007-03-14T21:17:00.000-07:00

So the Mailbox is watching Lost on KSPR-TV, trying to clean the kitchen during the commercials, when it heard something that grates its nerves: "Tonight on (the news), you'll see a report YOU WON'T SEE ANYWHERE ELSE..." Sure enough, during said report on the news, anchor Kyle Bosch repeated the phrase.

This bugs the Mailbox because No.1, it will precede a sensational story that's not really news. If it were news (a euphemism for "if it was important"), it would be on all the stations. The story was about Strafford middle school girls not being allowed to bring purses to class. The horror. It's not news.

No. 2, it's pointless advertising to say you'll see this report only on this station. The reason to say something like that during commercials is to draw viewers to the news. Only journalists switch channels back and forth while the news is on. The rest of the sane world keeps the station where it is. With that in mind, saying the "only seen here" phrase is either desperate wankery or illusions of grandeur.

Petty gripe here? Yeah, pretty petty.

OFFICIAL MAILBOX "LOST" GRIPE #21

2007-03-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

This week's gripe is just a continuation of last week's gripe, since this week's episode confirmed the fact that Locke is a bleeding moron. After Locke attempted to keep Sayid out of his backpack, it's discovered that Locke kept a nice little brick of C-4. Read last week's gripe again.

What, you want a new one? OK, fine. Charlie must be crazy in love, because you'd have to be crazy to love a woman like Claire. After Charlie appeared non-committal about her bird plan, she flipped out to almost the same degree as when Charlie went crazy and kidnapped Aaron. Sheesh! How about some perspective?

On the other side of the coin, this week's episode was pretty kick-butt. We finally got confirmation that Claire and Jack are siblings. And we see Jack in a new situation: Playing a little football with ol' Zeke. The promo promised that next week we would see how Locke got into that wheelchair. The promos are notoriously bad for overpromising (which affects the show's ratings and fan base), however. Wait and see...

OFFICIAL MAILBOX "LOST" GRIPE #20

2007-03-09T20:01:00.000-08:00

"Enter 77" was one of the best episodes of this season. Kate, Sayid and Locke go with Rousseau to go hunting for Patchy. Find him. Interrogate him. And come across the same chick who seemed to lead the Others at the dock where Kate, Jack and Sawyer were taken.

Because it was a good episode, it makes the Mailbox's gripe even more painful: Locke is a dumbass. He beats the chess program, gets the secret codes. He then gets popped by Patchy, but Kate and Sayid help Locke get the upper hand. He goes back to the game, beats it again, then enters the code to indicate hostiles have seized the compound. And then he looked surprised when it sploded.

Was the Mailbox the only one in America screaming, "Don't enter 77"? Those manuals in the basement sure would have been handy! Surely Kate and Sayid would have told Locke that the whole place was wired with C4! Surely he could have put 2 and 2 together... especially if he can beat a computer chess program! Crichton on a corn dog what a dumbass!

Best moment of the show: When Sawyer looks at Paolo and says, "Who the hell are you?"

OFFICIAL MAILBOX "LOST" GRIPES #17-19

2007-02-28T20:58:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since the Mailbox has had a gripe worthy of airing. First off, the Mailbox has to admit it was wrong. It originally said, "There was no freaking way" that there is a second island. Funny story: There is a second island.

This week's episode featured Hurley. The Mailbox loves these episodes, since Hurley's string of bad luck is so bad it's comical. This week in Hurley's flashbacks, a meteor destroys the Mr. Cluck's Chicken Shack he buys with his lottery winnings, and his dad shows up after 17 years. His dad tries to break the curse by rigging a psychic reading. The psychic had some cool looking tarot cards.

Meanwhile in reality, Hurley discovers a Dharma V-Dub Bus. complete with beers in the back. Who knows how long the beers have been there, but Sawyer eventually starts sucking them down.

The Mailbox's gripe: Who knows how long those cans of beer have been in a van, in the heat of a tropical island. And they drink them anyway?! The Mailbox has seen what happens to beer kept over a long period of time. Gets filled with nasty floaties.

Another gripe: Why does Hurley's father show up after 17 years? Should be 15 or 16, shouldn't it? For a show that has worked so hard to use 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 and any combination or computation those numbers can make, it doesn't make any sense to NOT use those numbers everywhere.

Yet another gripe: Hurley's bad luck provided a great opportunity to kill off Nikki and Paolo in a hugely hilarious and awesome way. Yet they still live. WHY?!

I AM NOT MIKE PORTNOY

2007-02-26T22:40:00.000-08:00

Yep. Learnt that myself. Real quick.

I've been listening to Dream Theater religiously for close to five years now, but for some reason, I never got the idea to play along with the god of thunder himself. So, I cranked up the iPod, duct taped the earphones in and rocked out on my six-piece Yamaha with double-bass pedals to "Honor Thy Father" and "Blind Faith."

My leg hurts. That's all I have to say.

Dream Theater is releasing a new CD in June, by the way. Track listing is up on their Web site. Too bad their forum is no more...probably because so many whined and complained that Octavarium and Score wasn't anything like Awake. Makes it tough to talk to Dream Theater fans. There were some good people on that forum, and I don't know where they went. Also, there were some jerks on that forum, and I hope they didn't pay their electric bills.

Still, the band probably canned the forum because there was too much complaining. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. Does Dream Theater have such a thin skin that they can't handle criticism? Probably, but Dream Theater fans are irritatingly picky about music. An entire CD can be ruined because of one chord to some fans. But, the band just started a MySpace page. What the hell do band members think they are going to see there?

What's this, you say? Never heard Mike Portnoy or Dream Theater? Enjoy:

NEW STORY: 'THE PIANO'

2007-02-14T21:44:00.000-08:00

The Mailbox has been pretty self-absorbed lately, doing this, this and this.

And this: A new story called "The Piano." Finally, I know why she wants to burn the frickin' thing. I dreamed about this girl once... she and her piano were stuck, frozen in time, and I got to look at them up close. Weird.

Anyway, hope you enjoy. Sorry the Mailbox has been a stranger lately. OH! Remind me to tell y'all later about the incredibly awesome Valentine's Day present that TLP got for us. Kansas City, here we come... :)

NEW STORY: 'RIDER WAITES'

2007-02-06T01:27:00.000-08:00

This is not a new story, but it's new to you guys. In a few weeks, I'll be submitting this for a pig-stickin' by a published author at a sci-fi convention, but I thought I'd give you guys a crack at it. Warning: It's kinda dark.

Download a pdf of "Rider Waites" here.

I have another story in the works, too. For almost a year, I have had a mental picture of a girl who is hellbound and determined to burn a piano. I've seen her standing over it, matches in one hand and gas can in the other, but I haven't known why she wanted to burn it. Until recently.

In a few weeks, you will too.

KJML GAINS GROUND, ZIMMER DOMINATES

2007-02-01T20:32:00.000-08:00

Woot! The Mailbox was worried about alternative station KJML slipping in the ratings, but the latest ratings say otherwise. However, the big winners show that Zimmer is still the big dog in the Joplin market, although the Big Dog KXDG is only No. 3. KSYN pulled a 10.2 for No. 2. As in Springfield, a country station rules the roost: KIXQ pulled a 13.2 for No. 1.

Kissin 92.5 was the biggest gainer, jumping from a 7.7 to its 10.2. The station is led by Steve Kraus (in da House). Springfield radio fans will remember him from Hot 106.7, back when Ray Michaels was a genius, Superfrank was managing radio stations and the station ruled the Springfield market. (Side note: Ray Michaels is still a genius, wherever he is, and Superfrank is the manager of James Brown and, really, no one else.) Kraus is one of the business' nicest guys. The Mailbox is super-mega-proud of the job Kraus is doing at Kissin'.

Also, the DJ-less KMXL (95.1 Mike FM), owned by Ronald L. Peterson gained more than a point to finish with a 6.6. The computers at Mike seem to churn out tunes that Joplin likes.

The ratings don't look so hot for everyone else. The Big Dog only gained a tenth of a point. Zimmer's KKMK Lite Rock 93.9 lost a half-point, pulling a 6.0. KKOW, 96.9 The Kow, lost more than 2 points, finishing with a 2.4.

Community Radio got hit hard, as well. KMOQ (Q 107.1) is on a downward slide, going from a 4.3 to a 1.8 in a year. KBTN 99.7 Classic Country Legends took a sizable step back, sliding from a 6.1 to a 4.2 in a year. KCAR, Cool 104.3, lost almost two points since spring '06, pulling a 3.6. All those stations are owned by Community Radio, which means Rock 105 is the company's only bright spot in this book.

Rock 105 gained .3 points in the fall '06 Arbitron period, finishing at No. 7. Not a huge gain, and not enough to match the 4.3 it pulled a year ago, but a gain nonetheless. And it helps support the Mailbox's spin... er, theory... that alternative rock radio is seeing success.

ALTERNATIVE MUSIC CATCHING ON AROUND SPRINGFIELD

2007-01-31T21:29:00.000-08:00

Joplin may be another story, sadly.

That Chatter guy had a post about the latest ratings from fall '06 in the Springfield radio market. The numbers are interesting, and Davis breaks 'em down succinctly. But I couldn't help noticing how well KQRA and KZRQ -- Springfield's two current-rock stations -- performed in the Fall '06 numbers.

Q102.1 was Midwest's top performer, pulling a 5.7. Z 106.7 was Journal's worst performer, pulling a 4.2. (Of course, when you're in the same company as KTTS, you'll never be the head of the family.) Both stations are up about 3 points each from last year. Though Q slipped .3 points, it is still No. 5 in the market. Z is 1.5 points behind Q, coming in at No. 9. Both stations beat US97 and The Cave. Q also beat Alice and two country stations.

The downside: In stations targeted to younger demographics, Q and Z finished last. Power 96.5 still reigns at the top of that chart with a 6.7, and its format can attract a broader base of listeners.

Since every radio station spins its own success story out of the ratings, the Mailbox will do the same. The Mailbox sees current-rock formats thriving in the Springfield market. For a culture once dominated by country and chatter, it's good to see that Q and Z are bringing noise to the ratings.

Unfortunately, KJML 105.3 in Joplin isn't faring so well. According to the the spring '06 numbers, the Columbus, Kan.-based Rock 105 has been sliding down the ratings, after a stronger showing in spring '05. The fall '06 numbers for the Joplin market should be out by Friday, and we'll see if it can gain ground in the ratings.

Yeah, the Mailbox is biased with this post. The Mailbox loves its rock and wants hard radio stations to bring the noise and pound its earholes between Springfield and Joplin.

IS THIS WHAT I MISSED?

2007-01-30T21:39:00.001-08:00

OK, this is admittedly old, but I laughed anyway. Michelle, official friend of the Mailbox, posted this video on her blog. I can only hope that some of the talking heads in Joplin are as creative and fearless.

The Mailbox is a big fan of the original "Lazy Sunday." For the most part, the video is funny, despite being painful at parts. Best part: "And I'm gone like Snyder!" The line about Dowe and Justice was pretty funny, too. Apparently, the Mailbox has a lot to learn about Joplin's Medialand (with apologies to Ron Davis).

MYSPACE A GREAT WAY TO WASTE TIME

2007-01-30T21:00:00.000-08:00

Darn, those masses.

I knew I wanted to stay away from MySpace, which is today's equivalent of AOL. It's a great way to send dumb forwards and surveys to people, while keeping them out of your e-mail inbox.

I resisted as long as I could. I should have got into MySpace a couple of years ago, before it went nuts. Jenn-Jenn, official friend of the Mailbox, told us about it. She showed us how to become a friend of the Barenaked Ladies. I also used it to discover Coheed & Cambria and Scale the Summit (that band actually asked to be my friend). But, I didn't set up a profile until recently.

I still don't use it that much. My page is unpimped, I have three pictures and no videos posted and I refuse to fill out my MySpace blog (especially since this one is oft-neglected, I see no reason to torture myself). And I ignore all those scary TV news reports about pervs on MySpace that roll around during sweeps week. If you have a brain and use it, you'll be safe from creepy people on MySpace.

Now, it's a decent way to keep up with friends -- no, that's not true. It's a great way to advertise who your friends are. I find myself immaturely shuffling my "Top Friends" according to strange rationale: "OK, he's my cousin, so he has to be in the top four at LEAST...of course TLP is No. 1...where do I put these two guys? Haven't known him long, but he's a better friend than her...and why is SHE here? I don't even like her." And if you have someone famous (Mike Portnoy is a friend of mine), then the ethical implications multiply.

The Mailbox doesn't quite understand where MySpace fits in to the whole digital world. It's a meeting place of sorts...a place where, using ugly templates and bad layout, you can show other people how great your life looks, and force your musical tastes upon them. Seriously: Two of my friends have MySpace pages and design news pages for a living. Their pages are ugly because they are ALL ugly. How the hell do they tolerate looking at their own pages? How can anyone READ this?

I'll stick with MySpace for the time being, because it's still kinda fun. I've put in friend requests to Carl Sagan, Charles Darwin and -- my hero -- Johannes Kepler. I hope they all approve me.

VISTA RELEASED WORLDWIDE TO MILD INTEREST

2007-01-29T22:06:00.000-08:00

Um, yeah. Yawn.

So Vista, the new Windows OS, is supposed to be as graphically beautiful as Mac's OS X. It retails for $100-$400. And it's going to cause everybody to upgrade to DirectX10, buy new motherboards and be ticked off that they STILL can't run World of Warcraft while copying and burning DVDs of Ghost Rider with Nicholas Cage.

I can't say I'm going to rush out and buy it. I'm hardly excited. Heck, if I were a software pirate, I wouldn't be excited about stealing it. Seriously: Look at the demo. Their introduction piece does nothing but advertise the different software packages. It doesn't explain how Vista is easier, more efficient or worth the upgrade at all. Those of you who use Macs know the truth: Mac's OS improved things like MOVING FILES from one folder to another. It's just a better system. Vista is finally catching up to where OS X is. Not like Apple is doing anything to advance its OS. Too busy with iPods, I guess.

The most bizarre thing about the release was Bill Gates appearing on The Daily Show. Jon Stewart tried his best to joke with the guy and talk to him, but it didn't work. Gates ended up leaving the set before the cameras faded.

Of course, with Windows releasing Vista, that means Mac will have to compete. That means watching more of these tools.

MAILBOX AGREES WITH MC PEE PANTS ABOUT KINGDOM HEARTS

2007-01-26T19:34:00.000-08:00

The above video is not safe for work, unless you use headphones or want to get fired.

Though I'm a big video game nut, I'm behind the curve, because it's hard for me to justify dropping upwards of $40 on a game. Even my old girlfriend had to wait for me to get a sloppy seconds version from the used-game store. I say that so I can say this: I'm working on getting through Kingdom Hearts 1.

MC Chris says it much better than the Mailbox could (except the Mailbox doesn't "masturbate to f'd-up flipper baby porn" like MC. Ew). I can believe what he says about KH2 taking forever, because KH1 takes forever to get anywhere. The game is a bizarre melange of Final Fantasy characters and Disney characters. It starts out simple enough: Engage in some practice duels, find some coconuts, develop a secret crush on a female, then the whole world splodes all bad 'n' stuff.

Tara, official friend of the Mailbox, loves it. We both thought it would be a good game for TLP to play, so Tara loaned me her copy. The very first part is pretty cool, actually. But once the game gets to a point of substance, it gets massively complicated. You start collecting things that you won't use for hours. You fly around in a spaceship and can customize it.

Like a jerk, I played past where TLP saved. I'm a bad boyfriend.

Kingdom Hearts is a wankfest of details and combinations, such that fun in gameplay falls faster than wishing upon a star. Seriously: Summoning Simba to put a smackdown on Oogie Boogie is drug-induced. What game designer popped a woody by envisioning Donald Duck and Goofy fight Jafar? So I'm not even going to try KH2. I respect Tara's opinion, but zhen dao mei, the girl got her face stuck in World of Warcraft so bad she can't even play Half-Life 2. Where's her priorities?

Meanwhile, I'm playing Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal and having a blast. Juvenile humor combined with cool weapons and ways to blow lots of stuff up. How can you go wrong?