Monday, June 11, 2007
HUZZAH! MST3K SNARK RETURNS
MST3K is back!Well, sorta.
Wired News reports that the creators of Mystery Science Theater 3000 have returned with more snarky comments about popular B-movies. At Rifftrax.com, you can download Mike Nelson's commentaries and listen to them alongside many popular DVDs.
The one thing I wished MST3K would have done is slaughter popular B-movies and other sci-fi classics. Nelson does that: For $3 a pop, you can hear his commentaries about The Matrix, Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones, the pilot episode of Lost, Eragon, Casino Royale and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory -- old school style, not that Tim Burton abomination. Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot won't be appearing, but the guys who did the voices -- Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett -- will.
Here's a freebie from their Web site. Enjoy.
Labels: GEEKS, SCI-FI, TIME-WASTERS, TV
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
NEW STORY: 'THE PIANO'
The Mailbox has been pretty self-absorbed lately, doing this, this and this.
And this: A new story called "The Piano." Finally, I know why she wants to burn the frickin' thing. I dreamed about this girl once... she and her piano were stuck, frozen in time, and I got to look at them up close. Weird.
Anyway, hope you enjoy. Sorry the Mailbox has been a stranger lately. OH! Remind me to tell y'all later about the incredibly awesome Valentine's Day present that TLP got for us. Kansas City, here we come... :)
And this: A new story called "The Piano." Finally, I know why she wants to burn the frickin' thing. I dreamed about this girl once... she and her piano were stuck, frozen in time, and I got to look at them up close. Weird.
Anyway, hope you enjoy. Sorry the Mailbox has been a stranger lately. OH! Remind me to tell y'all later about the incredibly awesome Valentine's Day present that TLP got for us. Kansas City, here we come... :)
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
NEW STORY: 'RIDER WAITES'
This is not a new story, but it's new to you guys. In a few weeks, I'll be submitting this for a pig-stickin' by a published author at a sci-fi convention, but I thought I'd give you guys a crack at it. Warning: It's kinda dark.
Download a pdf of "Rider Waites" here.
I have another story in the works, too. For almost a year, I have had a mental picture of a girl who is hellbound and determined to burn a piano. I've seen her standing over it, matches in one hand and gas can in the other, but I haven't known why she wanted to burn it. Until recently.
In a few weeks, you will too.
Friday, January 26, 2007
MAILBOX AGREES WITH MC PEE PANTS ABOUT KINGDOM HEARTS
The above video is not safe for work, unless you use headphones or want to get fired.
Though I'm a big video game nut, I'm behind the curve, because it's hard for me to justify dropping upwards of $40 on a game. Even my old girlfriend had to wait for me to get a sloppy seconds version from the used-game store. I say that so I can say this: I'm working on getting through Kingdom Hearts 1.
MC Chris says it much better than the Mailbox could (except the Mailbox doesn't "masturbate to f'd-up flipper baby porn" like MC. Ew). I can believe what he says about KH2 taking forever, because KH1 takes forever to get anywhere. The game is a bizarre melange of Final Fantasy characters and Disney characters. It starts out simple enough: Engage in some practice duels, find some coconuts, develop a secret crush on a female, then the whole world splodes all bad 'n' stuff.
Tara, official friend of the Mailbox, loves it. We both thought it would be a good game for TLP to play, so Tara loaned me her copy. The very first part is pretty cool, actually. But once the game gets to a point of substance, it gets massively complicated. You start collecting things that you won't use for hours. You fly around in a spaceship and can customize it.
Like a jerk, I played past where TLP saved. I'm a bad boyfriend.
Kingdom Hearts is a wankfest of details and combinations, such that fun in gameplay falls faster than wishing upon a star. Seriously: Summoning Simba to put a smackdown on Oogie Boogie is drug-induced. What game designer popped a woody by envisioning Donald Duck and Goofy fight Jafar? So I'm not even going to try KH2. I respect Tara's opinion, but zhen dao mei, the girl got her face stuck in World of Warcraft so bad she can't even play Half-Life 2. Where's her priorities?
Meanwhile, I'm playing Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal and having a blast. Juvenile humor combined with cool weapons and ways to blow lots of stuff up. How can you go wrong?
Labels: HUH?, SCI-FI, VIDEO GAMES
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
SCI-FI FILMS: FROM MEATY TO TWINKIE
The Fountain: A serious submission into the sci-fi genre, hailed by critics but not by movie-goers, apparently. The movie pulled in only $5 million over the Thanksgiving weekend. Jason Silverman of Wired.com says that's a bad sign for Warner Brothers and "another grievous wound for serious- minded sci-fi."
The Mailbox agrees, and feels the Matrix trilogy is to blame. The Matrix was wildly popular because of the special effects and compelling story involving self-awareness and Gnostic philosophy. But then the Wachowski brothers had to mess it up by making two more movies that focused a lot more on the special effects and turned their intriguing philosophical take into a religious wank-fest. And other movies copied the stylistic visual images of the Matrix without paying attention to the quality of their stories.
Look at this year's sci-fi offerings: The two blockbusters over the summer were Superman Returns and X3: The Last Stand. While the movies were successful, they didn't offer sci-fi purists much. It may be a while before we see a sci-fi like Blade Runner, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Brazil or Contact again. At least Silverman gives hope to true sci-fi fans by saying the genre is dormant, not dead. The Mailbox is excited to go see The Fountain, but not about the long drought of any good sci-fi movies.
Why won't they bring Firefly back?
The Fountain: A serious submission into the sci-fi genre, hailed by critics but not by movie-goers, apparently. The movie pulled in only $5 million over the Thanksgiving weekend. Jason Silverman of Wired.com says that's a bad sign for Warner Brothers and "another grievous wound for serious- minded sci-fi."
The Mailbox agrees, and feels the Matrix trilogy is to blame. The Matrix was wildly popular because of the special effects and compelling story involving self-awareness and Gnostic philosophy. But then the Wachowski brothers had to mess it up by making two more movies that focused a lot more on the special effects and turned their intriguing philosophical take into a religious wank-fest. And other movies copied the stylistic visual images of the Matrix without paying attention to the quality of their stories.
Look at this year's sci-fi offerings: The two blockbusters over the summer were Superman Returns and X3: The Last Stand. While the movies were successful, they didn't offer sci-fi purists much. It may be a while before we see a sci-fi like Blade Runner, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Brazil or Contact again. At least Silverman gives hope to true sci-fi fans by saying the genre is dormant, not dead. The Mailbox is excited to go see The Fountain, but not about the long drought of any good sci-fi movies.
Why won't they bring Firefly back?
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